You know for the last two years my husband and I've been seperated, going through a divorce now. I've got 3 kids and my youngest has autism. I've done everything on my own.... but it shocks me how his so called father will try to take credit for being the "dad" and having and austic son. I've been to all the IEP meetings at the per K, delt with the teachers at the Pre K, the biting,the potty training, the fits, all this nature..... a few months ago I had a meeting at the school, since my son started K this year, to try and get his straigtned out in the system, since the school screwed up last year. and guess what "dad" decides he wants to step in and be the "father" for once.... why all of a sudden? This does in some ways get to me, while in others it doesnt. I watched this affected my oldest son as well. This meeting.... to my oldest son, this was like daddy drove all the way from Va beach just to go to a meeting for Daniel, hey this is specail attention, I think I'll get some of it now because daddy doesnt give any of it to us anymore. So what does my oldest son do, he lashes out at school. He clings to his chair in speach class for 45 mintues, (not even a week after this meeting and daddy was back in va beach by then, thank GOD!), then locks himself in the bathroom at the school, and wont come out... and then has to sit in the principals office and wouldnt' tell them what was wrong... until guess who came to the resque... yes you guessed it MOMMY. Not daddy, but mommy. you got to know the thing about my ex is, he has turned into the man he never wanted to become is his father. Mr convient, I'll be dad when I have time, and then when I'm too busy I'm just too busy. when all of this started he promised the kids he'd call them 3 times a week, come see them at least three to 2 times a month. It boils down to calling once a week if at all, and coming to see them maybe once a month if at all. Which results in crushed children, and a mommy who does it all. And to have him take credit for being a dad of a son with Autism is crap for me. If only these people could see who does all the behind scenes work.... who puts up with everything going on a daily bases, who gets the pain, and hurt, who deals the the tears in their eyes when he doenst call. Or who gets the little fits of "I hate daddy" from the youngest who just doesnt get it... The man can take credit for being the dad all he wants, but he it takes a real man to be a "father" and that he hasn't done in quite some time. It may sound cruel, even harsh, but thats just how I feel. I've seen too much pain, and I've dealt with enough of my own, I have to cover his tracks to keep these kids together at times.... and I refuse to apologize for him, but I won't let my kids become who he has become. I tried once to tell him he was becoming the man he never wanted to be, and he back off for a while and tried not to, but I guess change somtimes doesnt matter... because he went right back to where he was going to. and it was then that I promised myself I would never tell him that again, he's old enough to know better, and if he's too blind to see, may be someday see that he messed up big time, and feel the pain he's given these kids... what comes around goes around, right?
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