my son doesnt really talk, so I guess Im a bit lucky there... =)
but how about a book? you guys could read it together, and it can take away some of the embarassment because you will both be focusing on reading it...and maybe any pictures (gulp) that it may have...?
I think researching for the 'right' book for your sons questions before hand would be wise...check the library....?
Im shooting blind here, but I hope this helps

Josaphine, I think that's the first time I've seen someone claim they're lucky their child doesn't talk!
Book is a great idea, though, thanks!

I hope you know 'lucky' isnt really what I mean =)

I didnt realize how high functioning your son is...you may want to go for medical text books since he he is mainly interested in the science part of it all?
or like pamphlets in a doctors office, things like that?
(planned parenthood may have what you could use)

been there, done that! afraid you do just have to be matter of fact about it, giving as much information as you can. but remeber that emotions are part of that too! relationships must come into the conversation, we have sex to...... be closer because we love each other, to show love and to receive it, to give us good feelings inside,and beacuse it just feels nice! we make babies beacuse............. we want a loving family, to care for someone, to give them our love etc etc..... then... " remember you have autism my darling, this means that you may not understand about all this stuff and all these feelings, so we will talk about things alot now as you are growing and it is very important that you talk to me if you have some feelings or desires. BBecause you have autism and you find it hard to understand peoples feelings, you will really need to discuss with me , or someone you trust, any plans you have now, or in the future to try things out or just to experiment." this is very important, as our prisons and juvenile detention centres are full of people with asd's who have acted innaprorpiately with sexual behviours due to lack of education and restriction. but teaching about love is very difficult, but im sure you will find a way into explaining that as you know your son best and there are lots of loveing things you do for him that show that. so, next time you cook his favourite meal, or give him his new toy, remember tostart saying"this is beacause i have really good loving feelings for you and i wanted to make you feel good" this will start t o get the message in about love, before you move on to romantic love! yeah, its a long process, so best get started!!! good luck- keep me posted!

Same here stayhomemum, I am so worried about this with ALEX. When he left elem. school the teacher, nurse, consouler, principals, and ultimately myself, felt that he was not in any way able to understand and grasp the concept of sex education. So he was allowed to go into Intermediate school without it, usually not allowed. I am ashamed to admit, but it grosses me out! I hate feeling this way, I bathe him and dress him, his body is developing fast, yet I have to walk out of the bathroom sometimes when the air hits it!!!!! I feel bad, yet I just cannot bring myself to address his questions " momma it sticks up" " Momma why it tickles?" I just can't ! I worry about him being inappropriate with some one and then later I won't be able to live with myself for not explaining. When I took him for a haircut tonight he had his eyes fixed on a female stylist, he was making " goo -goo" eyes at he, laughing, etc. I almost fell out on the floor! The little shit was aroused! I was embarressed! I talk often with his teacher and she also feels he is not ready, so when????????? I can't do the talk! It's funny , when I can talk with my clients about their bodies and explain things of nature, I guess because he's mine, I feel like it's too emotional and with his autism , I fear my parrot will blurt out something in public when his tape recorder in his head hits play! I can just hear it now! In walmart " momma says sex is when ya love someone!" oh yeah! this is what he does! I mean , not the sex talk, he mentally records things and later vocally lets it all out! of course when ya least expect it! Last summer , a friend of mines son graduated, they had a big party for him at a park, mind you these people are VERY RELIGOUS!!!!!!! Alex blurts out " My moms a lesbian!" Everyone dropped their forks, and slience filled the entire park, all eyes were on me!!!!!!!!!! I am straight, never even talked about lesbians! He apparently had learned a new word! I asked him if he knew what it meant, " no momma, mommas are lesbians!" I had to explain that it was inappropriate and not true, thats as far as I could get with that !!!!!!!!!!!

Because your child is autistic, he won't pick up on the things that most kids his age do through social interaction. What he doesn't know will hurt him, so don't assume he knows something and leave it out. You will need to be thorough, and approach these things head on. Because I hit puberty late, I arrived at college and one day realized that I really needed to use a tampon. I opened the thing up and didn't have a clue how it worked. Imagine what it is like not to know something like that. He will need to know things now so he does not get out there and miss what is supposed to be "obvious." If he doesn't find it out from you, just think, how will he find it out? The alternatives aren't always pretty.

YEARSOFTEARS: yeah i know... my son repeats everything too, conversations especially. word for word.always has done. well, i remember when we started having 'those' conversations. shortly after, he ahd a p.s.h.e. lesson at school. they were discussing the use of condoms. the teacher said can anyone tell me anything about condoms? Francis (my son) said "yes, you must always use them, even if stars fly out from her underwear and a fanfare starts playing"like a virgin" !!!!!!!!!!!! oooer, ok, so i didnt use a good phrase to start the discusssions- but it made the teacher laugh!!! we have got more detailed since, i promise! i think i have covered everything, but you never know...... remember, we really do have to be "matter of fact" about it and give info info info as much as we can get in there..... it is stuff i wouldnt have expected i would be discussing, but it had to be done, including what to do if you feel 'aroused', we have rules for that too- only in your bedroom, else leave it alone!!!!! like all the other rules we have to instill, this has to be done too, it is SO important that we cover all issues, lack of knowledge can lead to all sorts of innaporopriate behaviour, so we have to fill them in on that too, there is a time and a place ... for.... EVERYTHING!!!!

I guess my biggest fear in "having the talk" is that Alex is still sleeping with me! Yep! Iknow! He's way too old!!!!!!!!!! I am so...... ready for him to sleep in his own room!!!!!!! But the reason he still sleeps with me is because he gets out of the house in the middle of the night and so many times the managers and neighbors have brought him home, woke me up and it's so embarressing and most of all SCARY! I have tried EVERYTHING UNDER THE SUN TO KEEP HIM IN! He breaks all the safety locks! I cannot afford to but a security gate and bars on the windows. So I fear that if I have this talk with him , he will start to , well , ya know, touch himself, yuck!!!!!!! I just can't shake this yucky feeling! He is my baby and I just can't , maybe when we get our house, I can get it SO......... modified that he can't get out, then he could sleep in his own room, then I would have peace of mind that he is safe and he cannot get out, then whatever he does in his room is his bissnuess........????????

HEY- YEARSOFTEARS- MY SON WAS CALLED HUDINI- HE COULD ESCAPE ANYWHERE! HE GOT KICKED OUT OF NURSERY FOR KNOWING THE SECURITY CODE ON THE DOORS AND USING IT, AND THIS HAS BEEN THE PATTER FOR YEARS, WINDOW LOCKS, ALARMS, HIDING KEYS.... KNOW HOW YOU FEEL!!! HE STOPPED WHEN HE WAS ABOUT 14. DONT KNOW WHY- MAYBE ITS COS I SAID ONE DAY " OH, IF YOU GO OUT IN THE NIGHT, CAN YOU GET ME SOME MILK?" MAYBE THE FACT THAT I WASNT SHOCKED OR WORRIED(SO HE THOUGHT) STOPPED THE FUN?! ANYWAY, YOU MUST HAVE THE TALK!!!! YOU MUST!!!! NATURE WILL NOT WIAT UNTIL YOU FEEL COMFORTABLE!!!!!

Reading this I can't wait until Amber reaches this age, but I have a bit of time to wait she's only 5 :-)