Happy Birthday Steven!!! Many wishes for you to come!! You are so right Stevensmom. I catch myself daily, needing to rephrase, my child has Autism, not he is autistic. Keep up the great work for all of your kids! Because of staff like you there is a glimps of hope in the schools for special kids like ours. Thank you Thank you Thank you!!!

Oh yes, its a teacher says that too and teachers her students that, that first you are person, and second you are that great person with Autism.

Although, I must say, if I say I have autism to someone, even med-techs they say, " Oh, what medicine is that or what is that?" And I have to say, ok, rephrasing it, "I'm high functioning Autistic" then they say, "Oh, I know what that is!" Oh, ok...lol. But, yes, sometimes though people won't understand autism but they'll know what autistic means...

Hugs,
Kris :)

That is interesting Stevensmom & Herding. Words to think about. Thank you.

Couldn't agree more. Happy Birthday Steven!!! Hugs Denise

the good thing is when i met adam i met all of you here and you all taught me from the begining that adam has autism, not autism has adam, thank you all for that. i think i am getting it through dads head now that there IS a difference, Adam has autism, autism DOES NOT have Adam!
hugs!

Happy, Happy 11th Birthday Steven!!!

I've thought about this for awhile too. I always tend to say my child with autism or my autistic son and I really hate it that I even put in the part about autism at all. He is NOT autism.

It'd be kinda like my children talking about me and saying my obese mother. How rude that would be.

I used to hate it when people would say their "adopted" child. My children are my children and they are all adopted. I am NOT their adoptive mom, I am their mom.

So, I do get where you are coming from.

I do find that telling people my son is autistic or my autistic son helps them to understand the significance of what I'm saying though.

For example, "my son refused to get up this morning" sounds like a 13 year old with a teenage attitude problem.

:My 13 year old autistic son refused to get up this morning" and it's like, "Oh, I see!"

I dunno. Maybe it's just me. I hate labels. But, I tend to do it alot when telling folks about Kristopher.

HELP!!!

I don't wanna label him and I don't want him to have low expectations either.

That brings me to something else that recently happened. One day I said to my oldest son that we were going to set up a trust fund to take care of Kristopher when we pass away. I said I didn't know if Kris would ever be able to make it in this world without financial help from us.

Well, Kris must've heard the conversation because I heard him say to me, "Well, I'm not ever leaving home, huh, mom. I will prolly never be able to make it on my own."

I was stunned that he had been listening and that he truly understand exactly what I was meaning. I felt like total crap. HOW DARE I make that precious child feel like he would never leave home. I NEVER intended to make him think that. It's just that the future is so iffy and I'm worried and want to provide. But, we were in my office and I had no idea that he was even listening.

But, the last thing I wanna do is make a statement that comes true just because my child has heard it come outta my mouth.

I did laugh, though, because he just got ear tubes. When he didn't have them in he was pretty hard of hearing so we have to be alot more careful of what we say when we "think" he isn't listening.

Thanks for letting me vent!

hugs,

gaylek11

I am not afraid of the label. The label has provided by son with many wonderful services. It is also a reminder of just how much he has overcome.

Karyl,

You are also very right. Before the diagnosis we did not have as many services as we have today. And, it helps people to understand my son, where otherwise, they might not. Great point. I needed to hear it today, too.

hugs,

gaylek11

its like my husband doesnt want anyone to know and i truly do not understand, i have told him if nothing else every neighbor needs to know adam personally and know that he has autism for safety reasons. if i see a child adams age walking in the neighborhood i do not think twice about it, we live in a very safe neighborhood, BUT, if adam were to be out walking in the neighborhood alone, i red flags to fly up at anyone that sees him. i want them to know if he is out of the yard alone he needs help getting home. i want them to understand that he may not know how to get home. i dont want them to focus on him having autism, but i want to know that if they look out the window at the end of the road and see adam walking by alone, to get out there and help him get home. but once again, you are right, he is not autistic, he ADAM, who has autism :)

excellent point! I'm a Special Ed major and in all my classes they stress that the disability does not define the person! we get counted off in papers if we talk about "disabled students" instead of "students with disabilities." These kids truely are amazing and I feel blessed everyday to be around many individuals with autism and their many unique gifts!

Personally, I really do not care if my Noah is called autistic or a child with autism. They are synonymous to me. As long as people understand the reasons why he may act different in certain situations, then I am satisfied.

Noahsmommy,

I do believe that is why I do "label" my son when I refer to him as my autistic son or my son who is autistic. I just wnat people to understand the reason he acts different from other people. Because you can't tell a child is autistic just by the way he "looks".

: ) Hugs,

gaylek11

I used to be "anti-label" long before I ever became a mother. I always wanted to understand beyond the label; I think my family always had something about each other, like to label everything so to "identify " but I saw the errors in the labels and got reactive.
We are here because our kids have a way of development that is recognized as a disability. We have kids on a spectrum so each one is unique and their needs are also unique. It is impossible to label anything accuratly, since many of our group state they have had many "labels" in just a few years. I like the reference "my child is on the spectrum" That is accurate and I feel apprepriate.