last ime i wrote i told you all that my son Jonathan had just been diagnosed with ASD , since then he has got so bad he has to ben medicated he has been put of repirdrel i don't know which is worse my son who was hurting everyone including total strangers or one who seem s a shell of his former self. He is now 8 and whne i see him with children his own age i see the difference and it scares me angers me , that he is so young so dependent , and so scred and confused of the outside world, he doesn't understand theses children or school and in 4 weeks he has been expelled twice.His brothers are being effected as my 3 year old copies jonathan with the violence, my 7 year old who has heart disease and his own problems medically, has shut hmself away from us all saying he understands jonathan needs us more. i feel pulled as Aiden (my 7 yr old fought for life and we know or have been told the chances of him reaching adult hood are slim. he is so grwonm up and older then his years and i have jonathan who is still my baby at 8, i feel a bad mum , that it was my fault this happened , surely i could have seen this changed it . What does life hold for Jonathan , for all my children , and aren't i as a parent mean't to make life easy for them to have the answers to take away their pain. ASD has changed our lives i ahve no time with my husband as JOnathan has to know where i am ll the time , we don't go out, my husband likes to bury his head in the sand and he is angry. We thought when Aiden was diagnosed with his heart and spent 2 years in hospital have endless surgeries , we thought we had faced the hardest battle watching our child fight to be alive , then 18 months ago we were told jonathan is autistic not naughty i feel like grieving, like screaming..does ths get any easier....
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