I am so tired! Alex woke up hitting the walls, and I mean hard! He is just so hard to handle in the morning, again we rushed to the bus stop. I just don't get it! For 5 1/2 years he had to be at the bus stop at 5:45 am, as he was bused to a school 7 or so miles away. Now he dosen't have to be at the bus stop until 8:10 am! All this DRAMA IN THE MORNING IS KILLING ME! I am sitting here crying, Oh, yeah , he did manage to say" I hate you momma!" hurt like hell! Bad thing is i was shocked how clearly he said it! and at the same time the thought: "WOW! He said it with anger and he did not stutter!" Unusual? Normally, when he is upset and talks, he tends to stutter. These are the times I lean toward a live in provider! I don't even feel like going to class! I just can't stop crying! GOD , how hard it is! The older he gets, the more destructive, at least when he was small, it was toys, plants, houseware/ now it's the walls, taking the door off the hindges, slamming me around, etc. I guess I need to be honest here, I am becoming his victim once again! Parents' do ya know how it feels to be your child's victim? I don't have a boyfriend or husband hitting on me , it's my SON! How awful this feels! How much worse will he get? I'm sorry for rambling on, but I'm really in shock here and reality is kicking my ass as well. SOS...................
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