Autism / Autism Spectrum Support Group
Autism is classified as a neurodevelopmental disorder which manifests itself in markedly abnormal social interaction, communication ability, patterns of interests, and patterns of behavior. Although the specific etiology of autism is unknown, many researchers suspect that autism results from genetically mediated vulnerabilities to environmental triggers.
as most of you know i have been working very hard on helping adam help himself. things like self dressing, self toileting, asking for things rather then bringing unopened packages of food and saying 'uh'. adam can talk fairly clear if he has to so i make him take the package back and come back to me and ask for it,"can i have a popcicle", ect. i am sure alot of you are doing the same and wonder, is this something that will always have to be enforced or will he get it one day? if i have to do this for the rest of his life i will, but i would love to see adam catch on without coaching. its a 50-50 thing right now, about half the time he will ask with very little coaching and the other half he wants to just bring it to me and say 'uh'. and toileting, big issue here, hand over hand ever single time he uses the bathroom and he is praised for trying, will he ever toilet himself? adam has made major progress and i am well aware we still have a long road ahead of us and he will always be in need of assistance on many things. can any of you with older autistic children tell me that eventually adam will go to the toilet with no assistance, he pee-pee's all by himself, but after a bowel-movement he seems completely lost on what to do unless i guide him hand over hand every time. is it a cordination thing? he is still unable to feed himself with a spoon or fork, how do i help him with that? my kids had no problems with this, i do not know how to help a child with cordination and fine motor skill problems learn to feed themselves. he is only 6 and i know it will take time but i dont know maybe i am tired and feeling like i am failing him in these areas. when i first got adam we accomplished so many things very quickly, his behavior has improved 100% he is no longer angry, he interacts with other children he is alot more verbal, but the self-help is going slow. i am trying to teach him to wash himself in the bath, hand over hand, he has no interest in this and whines all the way through it. sometimes i feel like i am being too hard on him but then i think, he is 6 yrs old, autistic or not he should be taught to help himself in cleaning and toileting and feeding. i always tell adam this is how big boys do it and he truly wants to be a big boy but sometimes i feel like i am 'the heavy' in his life. meaning i am the only one that insists on helping him help himself. i love my husband like there is no tomorrow and i know he works hard everyday so adam and i can live in a beautiful house and have nice things, BUT, let me give you an example, the other day adam brought me a 2-liter coke and said 'coke' that is unacceptable, i told him to take it back and come back and tell me what he wants. his dad was just coming in the room and saw adam with the coke and said' give it to me i will pour you a coke'. needless to say i wanted to scream :) after adam left the room i explained to his dad that i am trying to get adam to ALWAYS talk in complete sentences and to ask for what he wants (his dad still treats him like a baby out of habit i guess and it is easier to treat adam like a baby, just do it and be done with it is most peoples attitude when it comes to adam) of course he got a little offended but we talked it out. he understands what i am trying to do but if i am the only one forcing adam to help himself and speak full sentences it does make me the heavy and i do not like that feeling. anyone else ever been through all of this? adam is a 'sacred cow' in my husbands family, understandable considering everything this little boy has been through in the past yr is mother just walking out on him and he needed a mother so bad, i understand how they feel but how do you make them understand he needs them to help him help himeself without making them think i am being too hard on him?
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I have been here before, a long long time ago and now I am back.Forgive me for not just saying what I want to say,even under a triple dose of antidepressants it is still raw and seeping and I am hesitant at revealing it as at least under the bandages around my heart I don,t have to look at how raw and wounded.My child was cleaved from my heart by his own actions. my child of ten,turning eleven...
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I gave my 2 week notice last Friday 13th. Now to join you fine people in a life of leisure and nothing else to do but to look out for myself....is it just me or does that sound pretty boring? My goal was to live to retire and I guess having to take early retirement because of health reasons wasn't exactly the way I had planned things. I just can't stay in that building that is reeking mildew...
It does take time but it sounds like he is doing well. Zach is still not even going to the potty at all. He wears pullups all the time. I wish I could get him to the point your guy is at. I'm not fond of the idea of having to do the whole wiping issue but if I have to I would be happier to do that instead of having to change the pullups all the time.
As for the washing himself, it could be that he doesn't like the feel of the washcloth or sponge. Maybe you could try giving him something softer or a different texture. Or even a brush.
I have also had a lot of problems with my husband as well. He thinks it should be a walk in the park with all of the kids, it of course is not even close. I can't be gone for more than an hour without getting a call saying I have to come home because zach is having a screaming fit. I think it is because Dad doesn't always understand what he wants or how to get him calmed down. My mother in law is worse and she helps me all the time. She wants to give in to him when ever he asks for something even if it something he is not suppose to have or if he pushes her to do something for him. She doesn't make him talk if he doesn't want to. And I have kind of gone round with the school because they want him to use a picture system and I don't. I want him to talk. They insist it would help him to talk more but I don't get how taking a child who can speak and giving something he can use instead of words is going to make him talk more.
As for getting the other family members to understand he needs to do things for himself. Point out that you have been working with him and he is responding really well. Give them examples and don't be afraid to jump in and show them when they want to do everything for him. Ask him to ask for it right or to show them how he can do it himself. If he finds out he will be praised by everyone it will help him more.
And take every opportunity to tell them about his accomplishments, there are no such things as small accomplishments in the world of autism, every thing is worthy of a party. I call everyone I can think of to tell when Zach does something new or surprising.
Even my other kids praise him and notice when he does something great.
they are only 8 and 5.
It sounds like you are doing great. Keep up the good work. and hang in there. He has definatley found a wonderful mom in you. Happy Mother's Day.
I don't know if you have picture cards, schedules, ect. set up for Adam. I know I have a friend whose son is a teenage and is autistic. She has picture cards all over her house to remind her son what he needs to do. She directs her son to those picture cards.
She has actual pictures as to show him how to make certain menu items. For instance, cereal. The first picture is a bowl of cereal. The first step is to go to the cabinet and get a bowl (picture of bowl). Next, a spoon (picture of silverware drawer). Next, the cereal box (a picture of the pantry with the cereal), milk (a picture of milk from the refrigerator). The next picture is the cereal in the bowl, the next with the milk being poured into the bowl. The last picture is the same as the first, a bowl of cereal ready to be eaten.
I know this is detailed. But, she also has ones in her bathroom on how to brush his teeth on the mirror. In the shower, is a waterproof one that she bought that shows how to wash his own body. It's kind of a flip chart. There's also one on what to do while going to the bathroom. Again, it's a flip chart attached to the wall. It's pretty nice. She is all about creating independence in her son. She re-directs him to the charts. She has ones for manners at the dinner table. When he enters the house, where to put his shoes, backpack, coat, ect. She's extrememly organized. It is where I learned some of the things I need to do for my son. I don't go into quite such detail with my son, as I don't need to. But, I learned a tremendous amount through her.
The website I listed above, was recommended through an occupational therapist. I created a picture schedule for my son using it. I printed out the pictures I needed, colored them, used clear shelf paper to laminate it. I then stuck a piece of magnet to the back. I use a large magnetic calendar. Jacob likes to know what is going on for the next day. We change it each night. I then use an envelope when he has completed a task on it. I went to the school with this idea and they use the same concept in school with him, except they put velcro on the back of the pictures and they velcro into a folder. When he completes the task, he puts the picture into the pocket and moves on to the next task. It reinforces what we do at home and has worked wonderfully. But, the website has some very detailed pictures on how to do specific things. You can make them 2" or 1" squares, write in what you like. There are even blank ones. Check it out. It's worth a try. You've worked so hard. I think this could really benefit and reinforce what you have already done!
Take care.
ever gone to this site or not. It's http://do2learn.com/picturecards/forms/index.htm.
http://do2learn.com/order/product.php
The picture cards are located under the green tab that says "picture cards."
With the speech... I do the same as all of you. I used to reward ANY speech with what he wanted and now I make him use a full sentence for what he wants even if I have to construct it for him and make him repeat. He's getting better, less prompting. His speech is still incomplete, missing alot of conjunctives and adjectives, still basic, but something.
School still uses PECS which I was against too. But since last year he has so many more words that they do use them less and expect more verbalizations - again even if they have to script it for him. IT sounds like your son WILL get there. It sounds like he has lots of tools. Keep being hard on him!!!! My son only started to use words instead of grunting and pointing when we denied him what he wanted until he made some sort of attempt. You can't make life too easy for these kids 'cause when you're gone no one else will... right?!