okay, so I know that we all agree that the weight of autism, the worry, the stress, the mental, emotional and physical-ness of autism can be debilitating at times. it feels like one of those times. Where all the rotten things of the universe line up to smack you square in the jaw! RIGHT HERE! Spring comes and goes in Minnesota...seasonal affect and spring fever is rampage. We get teaser days in the 70's, then cold and rainy for 4 days straight with forecasts for occasional snow. REALLY WANT SUNSHINE and warmth! ;) Then, I don't know how many of you know this, but I've been battling breast cancer for 3 years come October. I was Stage 3, had bilateral mastectomy, complete hysterectomy, 6 weeks of daily radiation and weekly chemotherapy for over 16 months. I also had an 8 month old baby, one that had just turned 2 and Jake turned 4 the day I came home from the mastectomy. I also suffered permanent heart damage from the chemo. So, needless to say, I have a rockin' body of health! no...in reality I get weaker every day, but it is what it is. Lack of sleep being up with kids really drains me...dealing with anxious and violetn 65 lb 6 year old doesn't help...or 3 floors of house I contend with (all bedrooms on top level, laundry in the basement)...sleep problems (going to sleep) have become routine for Jake in the last couple of weeks. So, basically what I'm saying is, I want to whine about crappy I feel! lol :) sometimes you have to laugh, especially when it hurts. somehow balances it out! the weekend is here, now I think I may cry ;( okay, I'm done...Jake's bus should be here momentarily. Have a great weekend everyone!!!
Posts You May Be Interested In
My girlfriend broke up with me yesterday and blocked all methods of communication with her because she knows she "won't be able to stay away". I know she still loves me and I need to get her back. The problem is she lives in Vancouver and I live in NYC and I haven't worked in 6 months because of a church music project that required for me to be away from home for that amount of time. My savings...
Sometimes I wonder how it feels to just die, release all the pain and all depresion that haunting me. Work, home, love, friends all screwed up, whats the meaning of life then? all the things that complete me just keep fading away, my dream job, my dream life, all my dream. Its pretty clear that my only path is to join to the God, :( I am sorry mom, I let you down. I am sorry....