in a word... YES!

yep. My DD has grown so fast. I haven't had the chance to baby her like my son or even work on certain skills with her. Although she has picked them up on her own. I spend most of my energy, thoughts, and money on my son. My daughter is begining to feels it. I'm trying to be and do everything. It's hard.

I was dreaming about the should be last night. When my first boy was 3 he was completely different that Oliver. Oliver is different but I know he needs to get training and things that are hard for big bro are easier for Oliver so what am I talking about. They are individuals. I can't think of anyone with more than one kid that can give the second the same or have everything, unless they are twins and you have lots of adults in the picture. Even then the kids are polar opposites in somethings. The saying you know better, you do better. Maybe intervention in a bit of moderation so to have Fun Time!! Is that so bad? If I never had a first typical child, I think I would feel like I didn't have something too. But I know if I only had one typical great kid I never would know what I would miss having an AMAZING SPECIAL KID.

Jarrett is only 5 and I have no other childern at the moment, so in that affect I really can't relate. I gave up alot though to be home with DS. When he was diganosed I was even more determined to be availble to my son at all times. I gave up all my own goals, like finishing college and having a career. I dont go out anywhere except on my anniversary. If we get invited to a party or dinner and it's after DS' bedtime, we dont go. I try not to do anything to disrupt his routine too much. In that sence I've allowed DS to take complete control over my life. I'm 16 weeks pregnant and worried about what it will be like for him more than for myself. A new baby will be a HUGE change in routine and am not sure how he'll respond to that.

I don't usually do this unless I feel that I can help someone. I have posted an excerpt of my book "Growing with Joe" that speaks on exactly this topic. I hope it helps you becuase your not alone, we have all felt robbed.


As I reflected on what I had just realized, I began to run through my
head all the things I have been robbed of because of his disability. He
took his first steps but they seemed so coached. To achieve this
milestone, he had to attend therapy and had to wear braces. He didnt
just get up off the floor and start taking baby steps toward my open
arms. Joey didnt eat with a utensil without a therapist for a year
showing him how to achieve that milestone. When he lost his first tooth
he had no understanding of who the Tooth Fairy was. Those were
moments in his life that I will never get back.
I could tell you that I do not dwell on losing those moments or that you will learn to accept that those missed milestones are gone. I could even say that as long as you realize that time has been lost, you will
learn to not take for grated another milestone. But I cannot say these
things to you. Honestly, I still get angry when I think about all of the
memories that were stolen from his father and me. I do try to appreciate
every moment of Joeys life and now I do look at every day as a
milestone. I also cannot tell you that there will not be another milestone
nor another memory that will slip away from you. Because there probably will be.

Tony is adopted. I didn't get him until he was two. He was so adorable, blond, blue eyes. He was such a handful, even then,
that just the work and worry robbed me of some of the enjoyment of having him. I can only imagine what you went through. I think I do understand what you mean Though,
Hugs to you and your boys!
MJ

I understand very much what you are saying. I have a 5 year old son diagnosed with high functioning autism. Ever since he was born, he has been a handful in a half. I was never able to enjoy the "normal" things Mommy's do with their little ones. And when I tried to, I couldn't because I was so overwhelmed taking him to all these early intervention classes. He didn't have a normal life. I felt very jipped. I still do. My son has so many different services to go to. It is ridiculous. There are times when I have cancelled a session, just so we can be somewhat "normal."

Oh yes! I feel like the time with my other sons was jipped because of all of Nathans care. I see pictures of my oldest two when they were babies and i can't believe how time flew when i was so busy with Nathan.
I stayed at home with all my boys but i still feel sad when i think about how i didn't do this, or didn't do that...and i try to think that maybe i did do this or that and i just don't remember.
The older boys fill me in on alot of stuff i don't remember and that always makes me feel good!

But yep, i definatly know the feeling.

I know how you feel. I have 3 kids. Caleb is autistic and his twin sister and older brother seem to always be second to Calebs needs I have guilt about it but have to do what gets us though the day. When my twins were born my older son was only one, and I also remember very little of the first 6 months after the twins were born its a blurrrr....total overload!!!!

yes definatly understand,, I am a stay at home, and all my time goes into my daughters care, and my son whos 3 suffers, I try so hard to make more time for him but its very difficult. But we can not change what we missed but we can make the most of the time we do have...