believe it or not i was very intimidated by adam when he was having the pyschotic illusions and meltdowns. it scared me. i was afraid for him and myself because i had never seen such a small child with so much rage and strength. i also felt it because i did not understand him and he could not communicate anything to me. the meds have changed every bit of it. things are so much better. i know what you mean stevensmom, steven is a lot different then adam is, i have never seen adam hit himself out of anger. i could understand your indimidation over stevns size too. i think when you are emotionally drained then you are physically drained as well. when you know you are weak you feel very vulnerable, even with your own precious child that you love so much you would do anything to keep them safe. i think i do understand.
love ya stevensmom!
trudy

I feel intimidated by both of my boys especially when we are out at say a restaurant and they know that they have the upper hand. I am practically begging them,"please be a good boy for mommy". You know the pleading that us moms do with our kids. I guess in hindsight probrably not the best thing to do but you feel so helpless. It really is amazing the mind power that they have over us. Denise

thank god im not alone!
you hit the nail on the head priscila, VULNERABLE is the word i was looking f
or. What should we call it?
Game of the Brain. lol augh

my son is 11 and 140 lbs...I understand what you mean.
he has never attacked me but has scratched up his older brother a bit....meds have helped with this (even though I had been so against medicating him in the beginning, I now understand why it can become necessary)
to know that my child could overpower me is a little unsettling to say the least, but I never let him know that!! I can only imagine how his teen years could become if I let him know he could intimidate me if he tried....he can read my expressions and body language like no one else so its almost like a poker face game around here sometimes!!
my oldest was very upset with his brother and wanted nothing to do with him for like a week (very unusual, they spend most days together) and I think that about broke my sons heart. I think he learned quite a bit from his brother distancing himself....like I said, he is very good at reading us...
and I think I got off topic....? =) but there might be an answer in there somewhere...

OMG yes, I have the same problems. MY boys are HELL when they are together!! They throw things, break blinds, hit each other, hit their sisters, run into traffic (no sense of danger at all!)they will flush ANYTHING down the toilet,and I mean ANYTHING! They will urinate on things randomly, climb cabinets, I had to BOLT my furniture and my chairs down! My daughters say they feel like they live in a mental institution! Somedays I think I need one. Not to be disrespectful of the mentally ill, but somedays it is just too much. I even had to put dead bolt locks on all the doors because they will run off. I am really at a loss as to what to do. They tag team me, and other than separating them constantly, it is really, really hard to correct them. I am a single mom of 4 children, and most days I am lucky to remember my name I am so tired! I am sure you all can relate to that. I just pray that I find an answer to this soon. I love them, but the exhaustion is really starting to catch up with me! Oh well, just another day, right?

Stevensmom, I so understand the intimidation situation. I will say that unfortunately at 14 yrs. old Alex has the strength of a man, and he hits me like a man. I had to take control back in 2005, when I placed him in a behavior center, where they beat the shit out of him. I decided then that it was him or me, sounds crazy, but I know I'D never hurt him intentionally, and it was better to have him home with me than 3 grown men taking turns beating him. It is so hard as they go through puberity, and for Alex, it has been a nightmare. He punches himself in the head, smacks himself, kicks, screams, and throws a tantrum like a 2 yr old. People do not understand, I'm always on the defense, and ALWAYS, ALWAYS, afterwards, I breakdown and cry.So yeah, sometimes we must pick-n-choose our battles with our kid's , but remember, we must also take care of our mental health. This is so life consuming! I hate the feeling I get , when I see the RAGE in Alex, it scares me to think that someday I will not be able to keep him at home, but this is why his doctor and I have chosen to medicate him, we value the quality of his life, that is being able to live at home, safe and sound vs the quanitity of his life, as the medications will over time be damaging to the body. What's a parent to do? I am also trained in physical restraints, etc. but the older he gets the stronger he gets, so it's a no win-win situation.

thanks for the imput everyone
steven had the battle of battles tonight, it was awful and yes afterwards i did cry and will go to bed so sad inside, i keep checking on him, even tho he is asleep, and i think he bite his tounge or that one last loose tooth finally came out, of corse i cant look in there too well. but he is fine now, i felt some intimated but kept him safe .
what meds do you use years for the times its just not manageable.

I feel very intimidated, Zach is almost 90 lbs and very strong, he has left bruises on me ,just last week I was having such a hard time calming him down,I told Tra to take his baby brother and got to Traviss room and hide....Thinking back, I am glad I told him to take his brother and hide, but to have to say that i am worried his brother may hurt him , still brings me to tears, IDK what else to do though.... Ive been trained as well, but what happens in ten yrs????