Yesterday morning, Azaria was having a tantrum because I wouldn't let her eat chocolate. In a rage, she grabbed the baby by the arm and threw her into the wall!!! I immediately went to the baby, who of course was screaming...I kept trying to calm her down, but to no avail...my immediate concern was whether or not she had a brain/spinal cord injury...both of her pupils were equal and reactive and she didn't seem to have any problem moving her legs or anything, so I ran her next door to my mother, not sure what to do...I took my oldest with me, but left Azaria at home because she was still flipping out and I didn't want to chance her hurting my oldest too...my mother couldn't get the baby to calm down either, but she noticed that she wasn't moving her arm...we wound up taking the baby to the ER and it turns out that her elbow was dislocated...they did a full body CT scan to make sure nothing was broken and to check for brain injuries, and thank God, there was nothing. They popped her elbow back into place and sent us home. I have been trying to get Behavioral therapy for Azaria for almost a year now and they keep saying that she doesn't qualify...this isn't the first time something like this has happened...right before they put her on the Risperdol, she stabbed my oldest in the face with a plastic fork, and right after that, attacked me while I was sleeping(still have scars from that one). I called yesterday and spoke with the EI supervisor and told her of the most recent attack, asking once again for behavioral therapy...I was told she would get back to me today...Soooo...she called today and once again, I was told she doesn't qualify...I mean, I love Azaria, so don't take this the wrong way, but DOES SHE HAVE TO KILL ONE OF THE KIDS BEFORE SOMETHING IS DONE?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!!!!!! I am just so mad right now...the baby could have been reall hurt...technically, you could even say she got lucky that it was only her elbow...I'm so mad, I've had a hard time even looking at Azaria the last 24 hours...what am I going to do???
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I tried it all. Sitting it out will just get it back to me sometime. Only way to release steam is to talk about it or get told that i didnt worsen it. What should i do? I will not go to a therapist for some guilt feelings. Ive asked on multiple forums about this trouble. This one was the best forum by far. Thanks to you, guys! But what should i do? I cant get this obsession out of my head.