Autism / Autism Spectrum Support Group
Autism is classified as a neurodevelopmental disorder which manifests itself in markedly abnormal social interaction, communication ability, patterns of interests, and patterns of behavior. Although the specific etiology of autism is unknown, many researchers suspect that autism results from genetically mediated vulnerabilities to environmental triggers.
7 years ago I got divorced - now I wonder if ex-husbands behaviour patterns were to do with being mildly autistic or having aspergers. Anyone help?
- he did not talk until he was 5 years old
- Loud voice, and did not know when to quieten down appropriately
- very strict
- no idea he was frightening me (he says)
- pointed finger, gripped wrist when shouting at me - but said "he did not mean to be malicious"
(Still does point finger when talking to someone.)
- a "loner" - did not want to spend any time with me
- no intimacy, no hugs, a peck on cheek-ok, very little physical relationship
- no confidence sexually
- a fanatical christian
- read bible every single morning without fail "as a rule"
- went to church twice every single sunday "as a rule"
- went for jog every single morning without fail (bar sunday} "as a rule"
- fasted once a week "as a rule" & kept the Sabbath "as a rule"
- very few real friends
- isolated himsel, sat in chair surrounded by TV, radio, newspaper so no one could "get to him".
- If I talked, he turned tv or radio up.
- Asked me the same question 4 times over even when I answered him first time
- did not "hear" me if I talked
- hated me playing music, does not like music, does not appreciate art. Is not "creative".
- he has a scientific mind
- he works by faith - he does not need to find answers to questions
- he finds no joy at being on this planet
Example: he turned up at my house this Sunday. My/our kids were at my house. They are teenagers. I was ill and laid on the settee. My partner opened the door; ex-husband shouted "Is Keziah there?" Partner nodded and and he pushed straight in, walked into the living room, stood over the settee and shouted "Are you better, what's going on?"
- he had no right to be there
- no right in the house
- no right to push past my partner
- no reason to be shout-talking at top volumne
- no reason to suspect I was better
- what the heck did he mean by "What's going on?"
Now this would be very rude, pushy and arrogant behaviour, except that I wonder if it is that he lacks social skills due to aspergers or autism (mild).
This is what I want to find out, so IF there is a reason, then I can let him off the hook. He has been very emotionally abusive over the years, yet I have not thought that it is deliberately malicious. However, he will not, cannot, shall not change his behaviour. He has driven away his daughter, now his middle son, and that leaves just one. (who gets on with him ok).
Thanks for reading all this, and will be glad of your help.
- he did not talk until he was 5 years old
- Loud voice, and did not know when to quieten down appropriately
- very strict
- no idea he was frightening me (he says)
- pointed finger, gripped wrist when shouting at me - but said "he did not mean to be malicious"
(Still does point finger when talking to someone.)
- a "loner" - did not want to spend any time with me
- no intimacy, no hugs, a peck on cheek-ok, very little physical relationship
- no confidence sexually
- a fanatical christian
- read bible every single morning without fail "as a rule"
- went to church twice every single sunday "as a rule"
- went for jog every single morning without fail (bar sunday} "as a rule"
- fasted once a week "as a rule" & kept the Sabbath "as a rule"
- very few real friends
- isolated himsel, sat in chair surrounded by TV, radio, newspaper so no one could "get to him".
- If I talked, he turned tv or radio up.
- Asked me the same question 4 times over even when I answered him first time
- did not "hear" me if I talked
- hated me playing music, does not like music, does not appreciate art. Is not "creative".
- he has a scientific mind
- he works by faith - he does not need to find answers to questions
- he finds no joy at being on this planet
Example: he turned up at my house this Sunday. My/our kids were at my house. They are teenagers. I was ill and laid on the settee. My partner opened the door; ex-husband shouted "Is Keziah there?" Partner nodded and and he pushed straight in, walked into the living room, stood over the settee and shouted "Are you better, what's going on?"
- he had no right to be there
- no right in the house
- no right to push past my partner
- no reason to be shout-talking at top volumne
- no reason to suspect I was better
- what the heck did he mean by "What's going on?"
Now this would be very rude, pushy and arrogant behaviour, except that I wonder if it is that he lacks social skills due to aspergers or autism (mild).
This is what I want to find out, so IF there is a reason, then I can let him off the hook. He has been very emotionally abusive over the years, yet I have not thought that it is deliberately malicious. However, he will not, cannot, shall not change his behaviour. He has driven away his daughter, now his middle son, and that leaves just one. (who gets on with him ok).
Thanks for reading all this, and will be glad of your help.
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I have been here before, a long long time ago and now I am back.Forgive me for not just saying what I want to say,even under a triple dose of antidepressants it is still raw and seeping and I am hesitant at revealing it as at least under the bandages around my heart I don,t have to look at how raw and wounded.My child was cleaved from my heart by his own actions. my child of ten,turning eleven...
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theatre and I are there already. I'm having a very berry tea with crackers, cheese and cherry tomatoes and she's having a joint with some beer and we're both on really comfy recliners on thick pile carpet. we need some help with the decor if anyone is around??
I work with children with severe autism and some with Asperger. From what you described I would say there was a high risk he had either mild autism or asperger, probably asperger.
Hugs,
Kris
If it was never diagnosed, well, there was "no" help provided. The inappropriate barging in, repeating certain behaviors, etc. all leads to something more than he's just being rude.
I hope you find the answers and perhaps in the process can help him as well as any children you both may have had that may have the same disorders.
Hugs,
gaylek11