
Asperger Syndrome Support Group
Asperger syndrome - also referred to as Asperger's syndrome, Asperger's, Aspergers or just AS - is one of five neurobiological pervasive developmental disorders (PDD), and is characterized by deficiencies in social and communication skills, normal to above normal intelligence, and standard language development.
support group for husbands and wives?

deleted_user
Anyone interested in communicating together as those trying to make it work with AS in the middle of their marriage?
I could sure use support as could my husband to not feel so alone.
I could sure use support as could my husband to not feel so alone.
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Neena 01/22/2019 Hi Everyone,I am Brand NEW to this group and hope I can get some support here...God knows I need it! I was super depressed after talking to my mother yesterday and was in tears and thinking about suicide. Luckily they were thoughts that I didn’t Act on but it’s sad that a mother....ANY mother can bring on thoughts like that.I feel bad that so many mothers in the world...
As for the clergy, we tried that too, but the problem I think isn't with the clergy, it's with anyone who doesn't immediately understand AS, it's just too hard to explain, and really, I just don't have the patience anymore to try to make anyone else understand. I am at the point of exploding at my husbands family about just what I have been dealing with with him, he asked me the other day why I stay with him, the answers are just not that simple anymore. I love him desperately, at the same time I HATE what he has done to us. Most of it I am trying to understand, and some of it I think I am successful in getting, but as someone without AS, without an addictive personality, God how do you understand some of this?
I saw my therapist yesterday. She is an Episcopal priest as well as a therapist.
I told her about some of the things that have been going on and that when Dana said "what's in it for me" I almost slugged him.
I told her that I told my husband that I wouldn't always be there. I can't live like this forever. If he won't accept the dx and then seek a counselor we can both go to, I'm going to leave. I was very calm when I said this. I think it shocked him that I would consider doing this.
I told my therapist that people have said to me for years, why do you stay with him. And I tell them that I took vows before God and they weren't just words to me. They were promises made to Dana in God's presence.
She agreed with that of course but, she said God doesn't want anyone to stay in an abusive relationship and she said I have been emotionally abused for a very long time.
I don't want a divorce and I'm not doing anything right now. I owe it to myself and, yes, to him to give it time. But now that we know what we're dealing with, we can work together to improve our relationship.
Last night I was going down the stairs to let one of the dogs in. My Golden was going down in front of me, as she was trained to do, and I slipped on the "feathers" of her tail. It was not a quiet fall and my husband was in the kitchen nearby.
With every bump I felt a jolt of pain in my back. My lower spine is a nightmare. So, I sat there until I felt I could get up and went and let the dog in.
When I went upstairs I said, "Boy am I going to hurt tomorrow." He said, "Yeah, I heard you fall."
Now you tell me. Is that AS or just plain old abuse? Moving out sounds better every day.
VickiB
For things that aren't immediately seen, my hubby too can be unfeeling, I was in the hospital ICU twice after my son was born, the last time over Christmas, very sick, etc...when I came home each time, he just was "oh good, she's here, she can take over everything". Not that he said it out loud, but that's what he did, my kids helped me both times, my older girls and my mom helped take care of the new baby, he was just oblivious. Course at the time when I mentioned in counseling that I was afraid that is just how it would go, he got mad, so go figure.
He now seems to understand somewhat, not completely, but at least enough to know when I am upset about something, and he does try to take the time to ask me what he can do to make it better. I have to admit, it's hard to have to answer that EVERYTIME, sometimes I just wish things would be normal, and there wouldn't be anything for him to work on, to make me feel better about. ugh.......
Do what you need to do to survive and be happy, you shouldn't be selling your soul in order to stay in your marriage.
Hope today has been a good, arguement free, fun filled one for all of you!
xxx
VickiB - Every time I read your posts I hurt for you. I am so sorry you fell and he didn't help. I can see you don't want to leave but I am really glad you are standing up for yourself.
Joy - I completely understand about the joy in small things! Don't know if you caught my post about the rice, but that sums it up!
So glad we all have eachother to talk to!
say, my ex today, (who called off my wedding via email) sent another email asking for 'the ring' back....
any etiquette advice on this anyone??
I admit I am a nag. Since the children were born partner would go to pub 3/4 nights a week. When I said we needed to spend more time together I was told we go on holiday together. He is under alot of pressure at work at the moment and I am now looking to go back to work part-time now the children are in school.
About a month ago he decided that he didn't love me anymore and that we should finish. Every time I try to speak to him about it I am told there is no point in talking about it as it's done. But he is still in the house saying he is just making sure that he is making the right decision. This gave me the impression there was still a chance. We are going on holiday on Saturday (but it is just for the kids) and then he is leaving. When Son was diagnosed my partner said we should just ignore the diagnosis. A few weeks ago he said he knew there was a reason he didn't want children. He drinks alcohol 7 nights a week. Now every argument from the last 22 years have come up when I try to talk to him. I am sorry to waffle on but I am so emotional at the moment and when he sees me cry it just makes him mad. I feel that that last month has been mental torture.
I'm new to this AS thing and I'm beginning to feel manipulated by his condition that he won't even accept. As usual I'm doing all the work and he's just doing his thing.
Whatever he has, I am suffering as a result. I seriously need to look at getting a separation. And moving closer to my kids.
I can't have any kind of serious conversation with him. He immediately starts making fun of everything and comparing it to something not even close to what I'm trying to say. It's so frustrating. If he brings up a serious subject, I have to agree with erverything or he gets snide and nasty and walks off.
I'm so glad I'm getting away, even three weeks will seem like heaven.
I'll be out of touch for at least a week and then I should be able to check in once a day.
God bless you all.
VickiB