
Asperger Syndrome Support Group
Asperger syndrome - also referred to as Asperger's syndrome, Asperger's, Aspergers or just AS - is one of five neurobiological pervasive developmental disorders (PDD), and is characterized by deficiencies in social and communication skills, normal to above normal intelligence, and standard language development.

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I had an upsetting experience yesterday. My 12-year-old Aspie son and I got in an altercation that turned physical, and he slapped me. Afterwards he was very apologetic, told me how sorry he was, and tried to be especially cooperative the rest of the day. But then when I asked him to get ready for bed and was a bit too pushy in his opinion, he slapped me again. I was so upset, I don't remember this happening before, certainly not twice in one day, and my husband was furious. I want to impress on him that he should never hit a woman, no matter how angry he is (and he can get very angry). I've tried to explain this too him - I feel that he needs some real punishment, but I don't know what. I don't want him to grow into an abusive husband. He has a tendency to lash out, usually with his younger brother, not with me.
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**Please, no nasty messages from people as I am not an abusive parent**
My daughter used to bite. One day I bit her (hard enough to feel it but not to cause damage to the skin) and she never bit me again. When she pulls her sister's hair, I tug on her hair and say "This is what is feels like". When she slaps, I spat her hand.
Many people may think this is horrible, but it has greatly reduced the physical incidents that she has done overall to everyone. She didn't understand when I would just say "This hurts people". I had to actually show her how it hurt. Like I said, she rarely gets spanked as we are not a "physical" household. So, no flaming messages please!!
but i do take thengs from him and stuff to make puinshment, so times it help and other times it dont. i would try to let him know this is not good behavior, and try to take things away or privelges. take care ang
What we focus on is reward for being good, so if we are going out, I will say if he is good an behaves I'll play the playstation with him when we get back. If he mis behaves he will not get his reward, or I will play for less time depending on the severity.
It seems much more positive this way.
Whether a child is asberger's or not, properly equiping them for the world includes not only showing the benifits of doing the right things but also the consequences of the wrong, (or even that actions or speech which may not even be essentially wrong can bring harm to oneself or others.)
I am certainly not advocating any sort of child abuse, but rather child Control; even if it must be physical. Secure them... let them know who's in control, if you are unsure, they will be, you will be tested. Teach them of and by
Consequences, not just withdrawal of privilege but make the consequence contain the context of the lesson.
Think of it as protecting the child when you are not around...
In the Navy, we had shore patrol which was policing our own...we LEARNED how to subdue without injury and to express authority without being degrading or abusive. Its not an instinctive thing, it must be LEARNED by you AND them. (and it wouldn't hurt for a few civilian cops) You must fill all roles necessary between loving parent and the cold indifference of the Law. There's a lot of space there whether you realize it or not. You want your child to feel safe and secure but you must impart to them that their behavior plays a large role in how safe they are in the world...I know of a law enforcement book entitled: "Fear as your Friend". It is not mean to show your child that the world can be a rough place if you don't act right. "It's a big world, and there's a lot of Baseball bats", that's what I recently told my little smart ass niece. Again and again I tell the young tough guys who remind me so much of me at that age: "If you do not control yourself, you will lose the option one way or the other."
I remember my great grandmother used to warn me about the nut house where another family member wound up, although I found it harsh, I took it to heart. That's just cold, hard truth.