this is so sad. my daughter has went through the same thing. the kids are nice to her, and they do things together I believe because they have to at school in sports. but she is never invited to anyone's house and she really struggles at school to fit in,. she is involved in a\out of school activities, and she has a really good friend at our church, you might talk to the teacher and see if there is someone that does paly with your son, they they get along, then maybe invite that child over, get to know the parent and hopefully a good thing will come out of it, another thing you might do is involve him in a youth group or boy scouts something that he can be around other kids and maybe find a real good friend that way, it is hard to sit by and watch your child be left out, I really hope he can find a good friend,,

One thing I found really helped with my son at this age was a pet. We bought him a cat. He had to learn how to care for it and love it, it was his cat, he fed it. Now this pet has become a life line for him at times and he is 15. He has started to show more social skills and does have "friends" it's not the same as my other children but it is on his level.
he also goes to youth group, he doesn't always join in but he feels as though he has friends with the kids around him. Do try invited a child over, there are other 'square pegs " out there just dying to be invited.
I hope he can find a true friend.

support group.... animal, etc.

Kris

When I was that age I was still oblivious to it. Shortly though I did hit this place. I became EXTREMELY introverted, and spoke to almost no one. I wasn't even telling my mother much. >_< Later on I came to the realization that the whole I put myself in was pushing me even farther away from the people I "wanted to get to know". When I was in this self made hole . . . pretty much the only thing I wanted was someone to see me and reach out to me. But I would pull back when someone first reached out. I would say to keep this from happening to your son you need to let him know you're there and you love him constantly and if you see him slipping into himself too far, reach in and let him know you're not going anywhere that you'll always be there for him that kind of thing.

ODB

P.S: I did eventually settle this a little, I went on to make few friends but the few I did make I invested a lot of my emotions into.

My son not only had no friends he had enemies and was bullied from 5 to 13.Then went to High School and things got lot better. He ws diagnosed as was I with Aspergers, Dispraxia and Dislexia. Still has dew friends but hes happy. Like his Dad ARRRGGHHH

My son had the same problem. And alot had to do with the kids in his class didn't understand why he acted the way he did. We had a guest speaker come and explain to the kids in his class (enough so they would understand)and explain to them when he acted a certain way what it means. And come to find out one of his classmates stood up and told everyone that he had a sister with autisum. He doesn't have a friend thats his best bud, but he is more social with his class and the kids all make a temp to play with him or say Hi to him. We were very lucky to have such a great group of kids in his class. He even goes over and plays with a neighbor kid that is a year or two younger than him. He tells me that is his friend. Plus he also joined cub scouts this year. And he just loves it. They were on an outing and he came home and told me he was the only kid that listened. I had to keep from laughing out loud. But he likes it so much he will give up other things to go to an outing. Not saying cub scouts will work for you son. But I would definately check with his teacher and the school and see about having a buddy at school. We did this last year and the year before. I hope this helps, any question feel free to ask.

ya i have some tips that might help. i have aspergers myself and went through that. maybe just getting your son to join some school activities, have him meet some of your friends kids, joining activities at church or other places he might go. just getting him to talk to others can help.

some people with aspergers have a much easier time making friends with those of other age levels rather than their own. Why not take advantage of it? He can mentor or tutor a younger kid, or get an older mentor. Depending on his intelligence level, he might fit in with older or younger people better. For example, older people may understand a high intelligence more, or he may be able to connect on the level of a younger kid better.

Thank you everyone! He currently is in Chess Club at school, but has not made any friends due to it...but i'm sure it will help in socially in the long run. We also had him in scouts at one time, but the schedule didn't work out with my work schedule. Maybe we will try another scout troop with a different meeting time.

We do let him know hoe much we love him and how we will always be his best buds...and that someday he will meet someone that he really likes and someone that really understands him and has the same interests.

Thanks again!!!

ya know whats even more sad?

I'm 37 years old, and I'm "STILL" like that.

whenever I visit a discussion forum, or in class with people at school and they say stuff to me, I always automatically "assume" those people are my friends, even though I learn later that they aren't :(

I've never had a real friend in my entire life. I have acquaintances, er however its spelled, often as we all do, but it always makes me sad, when people from school don't want to be friends outside of school, like they talk about calling eachother on the phone but never call me, that happens to me alot and I get really upset and sad about it sometimes.

My daughter has had a problem with friends too, but it doesn't seem to bother her too much and she does have one friend at least. That seems to be enough for here. But I know what you and others mean about assuming people are her friends - she would tell us she had 20 friends probably, even though only one ever calls or comes over.

This probably isn't much help, just saying I understand, and I wouldn't worry to much if the friend list is short.

I can't say I have advice.
I have a 13 year old that tries to say everything is fine.
He knows he is not like his class mates at this point in time. He tries but...
I joined tonight to just read about others that deal with the same so I don't feel alone with this, and maby we can all help each other. My guy has no calls from friends, and when he goes out to a dance etc. I worrie that he is being looked down apon by his peers but has not yet figured it out.

I think a play date is great with a nice kid from school. Ask the school who would be appropriate.
colinsquest

guinea pig are good with allergies, loving and intelligent if considering a pet. Does he have other special interests? Chess is not popular, but probably good practice as you mentioned. Think of something you could see him doing and introduce it to him in a positve way. It is good to work on this now as 11-15 seemed hardest for my son.

I have one that is going throw this and my oldest that went threw the same thing. First, with the oldest one I explained to him to have friends, you have to be friendly...but not TOO friendly. Them we thought of ways we could be friendly through the day. I knew this was only going to be a part of it...so I started a video game/pokemon club for after school. This lastest only a few months...but we found the other souls that were like him. Also...I started dressing him more like how the other kids were dressed and having him invite kids over. We joined cub scouts and some solo sports like golf and swimming. He has "friends" that he thinks are his friends but really aren't and he actually has two "real" friends. One just moved away...and the other is a bit of a juvenile (So I'm watching that relationship.)

My other son...I did all this and NONE of it worked. He shoots himself in the foot with just about everything. He's 9 1/2 and right now...even though he's in cub scouts, a kid's church club, swimming and golf...he has no one who wants to play with him. His mouth starts before his brain and I'm just trying to keep his damage to himself a minimum until he realizes he can only have friends when he acts friendly and not "like the crazy kid." (Some neighborhood kid's comments - not mine.)

The fact that he is aware is an excellent sign he will be motivated to try with good directions. I never was aware of needing friends and was lucky my brother and Eskimo sister looked out for me. My daughter is the first to advise me on getting friends. She helped her autistic brother too. I think G-d sent her to be an example to us and friend to all(her name means friendly or good friend)I hope your son can find such a friend to help him.