Hi Gillian. I wish I could offer some advice as far as proactive attention goes. There are a lot of times that I wish my parents would have helped in different ways to assist my social differences and keep me from clinging to the edge of the group or classroom. I did have some teachers that understood I wasn't being difficult because I wanted to be. They would have one-to-one's with me just to see how I was doing. I remember that I could focus more on those people because I could identify that they were trying to understand me just as I was trying to understand them.

I don't know what you do now that you have the AS dx for your little one. Be descriptive and detailed. Keep things linear and ordered. Ask questions. TELL her what you are thinking. Love her and let her know. Read and read and read. Keep yourself healthy. That's all I know.

Hey Gilian,
My son was diagnosed two weeks ago but like you I have known this is what they were going to come up with for about two years. My baby is 11 now and I am not about to tell you it is going to be easy because these kids challenge you every step of the way, intentionally and untintentionally. The first thing I would do is make sure the dx becomes part of her record and request a meeting at the school. If she has been disruptive in school and is struggling academically because of it, they should be willing to do what they have to to test her and make sure she gets what she needs. Part of the reason she may be acting out is because she is bored. Zephyrus is right. If they are forced to do work that they already know you may find it difficult to get them to do anything at all. She will question the authority of everyone almost automatically. My first resource was this book called Asperger's Syndorme: The 300 Questions Parents Ask Most. It quickly summarizes the key things you need to answer most of your questions and in laymen's terms. It also did a great job explaining a lot of the behaviors you have either seen or will see so it doesn't drive you completely crazy (although partly crazy will make this easier lol). For example, she may become tunnel visioned on certain things that they like and won't readily or easily move on to something else. Mine seems a bit immature because he has impulse control problems. They are easily overstimulated by noise, busy walls and people so classroooms can be hard for them to work in. The only way to describe aspie's are generally, it's their world and we are just living in it. Some kids have trouble showing empathy for people, some have sleeping issues, there are a lot of sub issues that may come along. Research is your best friend. This discussion board and making friends helps too. The only thing that is typical about these kids are that they are not typical. They are wonderful and special and I am glad God gave me one. We are possibly raising some of the brightest kids in the US. My son has tested at a verbal fluency of 23 years old, math at 16. Our kids problems are more social and emotional than intellectual. It just takes some extra work to help them cope with the world and stay focused. If anything, be relieved. You now know that you weren't crazy to think something was up, she is not just being a disrespectful child and there are lots of things you can do to make things a bit easier. As I am still learning a lot of this myself, let's keep each other posted with new techniques and stuff on the board. We can all learn something.

Hey Gilian,
My son was diagnosed two weeks ago but like you I have known this is what they were going to come up with for about two years. My baby is 11 now and I am not about to tell you it is going to be easy because these kids challenge you every step of the way, intentionally and untintentionally. The first thing I would do is make sure the dx becomes part of her record and request a meeting at the school. If she has been disruptive in school and is struggling academically because of it, they should be willing to do what they have to to test her and make sure she gets what she needs. Part of the reason she may be acting out is because she is bored. Zephyrus is right. If they are forced to do work that they already know you may find it difficult to get them to do anything at all. She will question the authority of everyone almost automatically. My first resource was this book called Asperger's Syndorme: The 300 Questions Parents Ask Most. It quickly summarizes the key things you need to answer most of your questions and in laymen's terms. It also did a great job explaining a lot of the behaviors you have either seen or will see so it doesn't drive you completely crazy (although partly crazy will make this easier lol). For example, she may become tunnel visioned on certain things that they like and won't readily or easily move on to something else. Mine seems a bit immature because he has impulse control problems. They are easily overstimulated by noise, busy walls and people so classroooms can be hard for them to work in. The only way to describe aspie's are generally, it's their world and we are just living in it. Some kids have trouble showing empathy for people, some have sleeping issues, there are a lot of sub issues that may come along. Research is your best friend. This discussion board and making friends helps too. The only thing that is typical about these kids are that they are not typical. They are wonderful and special and I am glad God gave me one. We are possibly raising some of the brightest kids in the US. My son has tested at a verbal fluency of 23 years old, math at 16. Our kids problems are more social and emotional than intellectual. It just takes some extra work to help them cope with the world and stay focused. If anything, be relieved. You now know that you weren't crazy to think something was up, she is not just being a disrespectful child and there are lots of things you can do to make things a bit easier. As I am still learning a lot of this myself, let's keep each other posted with new techniques and stuff on the board. We can all learn something.

First of all, it takes a while to diagnose AS because AS doesn't exactly show as a learning disability early on. They usually have no trouble with language and are intelligent. It shows in the way they communicate, and their lack of social etiquette, and obsessions that hint at AS.
A diagnosis will help her because it will help her teachers understand the reason behind her behaviors and not (hopefully)expect her to be just like the rest of the students.
Have her checked for ADHD in a year or so, if her behavior continues to be disruptive and if she has trouble focusing in class. AS is not the end of the world...I think of it as a gift.

Good advice, lostartist.

Thank you all for your advice, i will read all about it... as im sure there is still loads to learn...my girl is only 7 and she already is intelligent, im hoping with the right sort of help she can reach her full potential...
She can be really funny too, i recently had all my long hair cut off.. and that same day i had to take her to the hairdressers so her hair could be cut off too... she wanted to look "just like mummy" lol.

take care all. will talk soon. x

LOL the haircut thing sounds so familiar. Hi Gillian. I have a set of 7 y/o twins whom I am waiting for the definate dx on. At this rate they just say 90% that it is AS. I'm sure many a mom here has heard that one before.

I too suggest that the diagnosis go on her school record immediately. You ask now that you know...what do you do with it.... My answer to that is just love her. Offer her all the love, help and guidance she can take. I pray that my twins will be diagnosed soon. We too have had the problem of teachers becoming impatient. Also the bully problems at school because they are different than the rest of the kids.

I can also tell you that despite the diagnosis, there will still be some people who don't understand, and will still give her and you a hard time. Shrug it off. You have enough to deal with, without getting upset at those who won't or can't believe in the dx.

Since your child is the same age as my twins, I imagine you too are wondering what to tell others, and how much to try and explain to your child. In our case we have severe short term memory problems, so that makes it more difficult , I think. My boy twin tells me all the time "I am not in your world". lol little does he know how true those words are, but we try and make sure that no matter what he is told, that he knows he is intelligent, he is a very wonderful person and that we will always be there to help him if he needs or wants it.

Just remember, to show all the love they can handle, and things will be ok.

If you ever need someone to talk to, feel free to message me. I may not get back immediately, but I will as soon as possible. Hugs for you and your daughter.