My relationship is very difficult. It is very verbally abusive, a couple of times physically abusive (I am always threatened with it) and just down right exhausting. My husband will do nothing to compromise on our feelings so I am always just stuck doing what he tells me to do no matter how I feel. I know some of you will write and tell me to leave my husband but this is not possible. I am certain he would kill either me or worse my children in retaliation. So, lately when we have sex I think about other men. Not anyone close to us, just someone I saw in the mall or something. I feel bad about this on a moral level but gheez it is really hard to have sex right after someone just screams and cusses at you for an hour. If I just do it in my mind is it really that horrible? My AS traits are that I am very anti-social and very loyal (except for this) so I know I would not ever take this to another level.
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