She thinks in pictures, there are so many variables with this thing! I am actually a verbal autistic, imagine that! (Explain me please!) yet to everything I write I see these pictures in my mind! For the majority of my life these pictures are all I have ever seen until an illustrator from the UK took my words and on my specific direction drew ACTUAL paintings in watercolour and pen, that alone both mesmerized and dumbfounded me to the point I had to creep out and sob! To have lived decades with out ever seeing these things except in my head brought out in actualization borne into manifestation! It is to me a landmark thing that I lived to see this, my awe most profound! Aspbergers is not so much a puzzle as it is a plethora of puzzles unique to each individual with this syndrome! For me some days I feel I am surely dying as no one seems to grasp my take on this world, it may not come in my life time! Now that this is known we must VOCALIZE, to help self-define Aspbergers, with our honesty and our innate bravery not just be the LOST adult generations but rather be the pioneers who draw the maps, the diagrams to the inner workings of our minds! My words ARE my autistic expression and I will spew them as freely as blood and tears! My modus operendi is to offer up freely all that I have to blaze a trail, that my suffering will not have been in vain that more can step up out of the shadows and say out loud "This is Aspergers to me!" I have dreams of Temple Grandin's squeezing machine and the comfort it might bring to my very overstimulated system!
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