I really feel for you! But you should really tell her, for two reasons: 1) so that you know that she knows exactly what you are dealing with on a day-to-day basis, that it's not a phase, it's not something she can change, etc. and 2) so she can make an informed choice about what she wants to do with the information - stay and help or leave. If she chooses to leave, I'm not so sure she's the girl for you anyway......right? Whatever you choose to do, know that you have to take care of yourself first, find your way, before you can look to someone else.... my thoughts are with you.

Cain, if you are on the spectrum and becoming a psychologist, then if you end up being a psychologist for another person who is on the spectrum, they will be very lucky :) Try and think of it that way!

Kris

Information is power!!

How much better to KNOW about yourself, so you can share what is appropriate with others & can start to remediate what's needed, in order to have an optimal relationship with your girlfriend & coworkers, over time!

I think you should tell her. i can tell you what it's like being on the other side. I believe my husband has aspergers. Our son does and my husband has some strong similarities but milder. He had learning difficulties in school in all subjects except his field of study. I don't think he understood why or for that matter connected the dots. Back then, he probably had no idea what to do. But, he never brought it up. Even worse, he did all he could to make sure I never found out. When I did find out, I was crushed and very upset. I felt very taken advantage of, since I had made every effort to be completely honest with him - as a general rule. I didn't care what the problem was. I just cared that he couldn't be honest enough to share it with me. The fact that we had a child with aspergers, made it even worse. He's a great guy - but it shook me and our relationship to the core. How does the saying go... if you love something... tell her. If she's really in your corner, she'll still be there. On top of that-- she's probably already noticed.

That's tough Cain, double tough. I truly feel for you.
I do think that she needs to know upfront what she's getting into. It's one of the horrible realities of life that ppl might choose NOT to help someone with a syndrome, dysfunction, handicap etc. But it is their right. And she's the only who can make the determination of whether or not she can deal with it.
My bet is that if she's dating a "will-be psychologist" that she's attracted to ppl that like helping other's. That might indicate that she has a pretty big heart herself.
Who knows Cain, she might just become the biggest fan of your life?

just sit her down and tell her. just say that you are a little different. tell her you think you may have aspergers but you are still the same you she nos.

This is tough for you. Basically I think you have to make sure you are very realistic and make sure your thinking is very logical.

If your relationship can not be mutually satisfying with your girlfriend, then you are better off breaking up. You owe it to her to be honest about important things and to talk with her about them. Otherwise you are treating her like a thing you want and are being manipulative and abusive. If you really love her, you will want her to be happy.

If you become a psychologist and are AS, you will not be good at certain things. The thing is to pick a TYPE of psychologist job that you can do well and that you enjoy. Maybe psychological assessment (if you can muster up a pleasant manner) or research. Counselling or therapy will demand abilities you don't have so don't set yourself up for this.

Make sure you don't catastrophise.

All the best

Cainchild
You need to understand your AS and exactly what things affect you and how etc.

As has its own complex mix of issues for each and everyone of us...

no tow are exactly alike...

but the upside is you know first of all what it is now...

knowing is better than not knowing..

remmber that befor you or she knew you had AS she loved you...

why should that change just because you now knnow a little more about why you react the way you do


and you have known and so has she tath you react different than most men but now you are begining to understand why..

we with AS were born with a neurologically different brain that processes in put differently and sometimes better but for other things not better..

many have sensory over load or sensitivity isssues etc.

when you talk to her let her know that you are looking at this as an explaination not an excuse for your behaviors etc.

that day by day as an individual you strive to be better thru self realization and thru strong positive interaction with those close to you like her who do not have this

you can stay better self centering and balanced to how you react to your world around you...

that at times to cope better you may modify or cushioin your envionment to help you cope..

at other times you may change or alter how or when you do thinngs to cope...

no big thing really just different..

for example using my personal experience...

due to my extreme noise sensitivity and other issues I do not go to the store during peak hours when MOm and dad are their with screaming/shrieking kids... or grandpa and gradma are there going very slowly up and down the aisle...

instead be cause it is queter and less stressful for me I shop at 24 hour grocery storees and go at say 3:30-4 am

I use my list and get in and out of the store effectively and eficiently within 25 to 30 min at most...

you need to go over a comprehensive list of AS symthoms to asses what ones effect you vs which do not then rate the degree from 1-100 as to severity to give you and her a picture of exactly what you deal with...

and it will help you make a plan of action type tool box for dealing with it

it will reduce your stress and make things easier for you...

and also make your interaction with her esier because she will be lea=ss stressed in dealing with you also


in my humble opinion...

if you should need or want my help in making this list form my self assembled AS Manual I'll be happy to assist you

I self diagnoised in 2004 going for Formal diagnoisis with in next 2-3 months (as soon as the Dr I have selected has a opening for me)

Walt

Wow, Walt !!!! That was just BRILLIANT !!!! Yes !!!! Way to go !

Cain...as stated by the others...if she already knows you for who you are, a possible diagnosis should not change too much...if it does, then you deserve better...good luck to you!

A diagnosis won't change who you are, it will only give you help with it. Keep in mind, if you are labeled with aspergers you won't develop additional symptoms or have to deal with any new challenges. You will still be you. I think she knows that too, that if she likes you the way you are no label will change that. If she doesn't understand that, tell her, and also let her know that you will never use a diagnosis as an excuse, you are still the same person. So really, you would be risking nothing but maybe gaining some help and understanding.

This does not change who you are, it just explains things. You have a lot more to give than AS can ever take away!