Asperger Syndrome Support Group
Asperger syndrome - also referred to as Asperger's syndrome, Asperger's, Aspergers or just AS - is one of five neurobiological pervasive developmental disorders (PDD), and is characterized by deficiencies in social and communication skills, normal to above normal intelligence, and standard language development.
7 years ago I got divorced - now I wonder if ex-husbands behaviour patterns were to do with being mildly autistic or having aspergers. Anyone help?
- he did not talk until he was 5 years old
- Loud voice, and did not know when to quieten down appropriately
- very strict
- no idea he was frightening me (he says)
- pointed finger, gripped wrist when shouting at me - but said "he did not mean to be malicious"
(Still does point finger when talking to someone.)
- a "loner" - did not want to spend any time with me
- no intimacy, no hugs, a peck on cheek-ok, very little physical relationship
- no confidence sexually
- a fanatical christian
- read bible every single morning without fail "as a rule"
- went to church twice every single sunday "as a rule"
- went for jog every single morning without fail (bar sunday} "as a rule"
- fasted once a week "as a rule" & kept the Sabbath "as a rule"
- very few real friends
- isolated himsel, sat in chair surrounded by TV, radio, newspaper so no one could "get to him".
- If I talked, he turned tv or radio up.
- Asked me the same question 4 times over even when I answered him first time
- did not "hear" me if I talked
- hated me playing music, does not like music, does not appreciate art. Is not "creative".
- he has a scientific mind
- he works by faith - he does not need to find answers to questions
- he finds no joy at being on this planet
Example: he turned up at my house this Sunday. My/our kids were at my house. They are teenagers. I was ill and laid on the settee. My partner opened the door; ex-husband shouted "Is Keziah there?" Partner nodded and and he pushed straight in, walked into the living room, stood over the settee and shouted "Are you better, what's going on?"
- he had no right to be there
- no right in the house
- no right to push past my partner
- no reason to be shout-talking at top volumne
- no reason to suspect I was better
- what the heck did he mean by "What's going on?"
Now this would be very rude, pushy and arrogant behaviour, except that I wonder if it is that he lacks social skills due to aspergers or autism (mild).
This is what I want to find out, so IF there is a reason, then I can let him off the hook. He has been very emotionally abusive over the years, yet I have not thought that it is deliberately malicious. However, he will not, cannot, shall not change his behaviour. He has driven away his daughter, now his middle son, and that leaves just one. (who gets on with him ok).
Thanks for reading all this, and will be glad of your help.
- he did not talk until he was 5 years old
- Loud voice, and did not know when to quieten down appropriately
- very strict
- no idea he was frightening me (he says)
- pointed finger, gripped wrist when shouting at me - but said "he did not mean to be malicious"
(Still does point finger when talking to someone.)
- a "loner" - did not want to spend any time with me
- no intimacy, no hugs, a peck on cheek-ok, very little physical relationship
- no confidence sexually
- a fanatical christian
- read bible every single morning without fail "as a rule"
- went to church twice every single sunday "as a rule"
- went for jog every single morning without fail (bar sunday} "as a rule"
- fasted once a week "as a rule" & kept the Sabbath "as a rule"
- very few real friends
- isolated himsel, sat in chair surrounded by TV, radio, newspaper so no one could "get to him".
- If I talked, he turned tv or radio up.
- Asked me the same question 4 times over even when I answered him first time
- did not "hear" me if I talked
- hated me playing music, does not like music, does not appreciate art. Is not "creative".
- he has a scientific mind
- he works by faith - he does not need to find answers to questions
- he finds no joy at being on this planet
Example: he turned up at my house this Sunday. My/our kids were at my house. They are teenagers. I was ill and laid on the settee. My partner opened the door; ex-husband shouted "Is Keziah there?" Partner nodded and and he pushed straight in, walked into the living room, stood over the settee and shouted "Are you better, what's going on?"
- he had no right to be there
- no right in the house
- no right to push past my partner
- no reason to be shout-talking at top volumne
- no reason to suspect I was better
- what the heck did he mean by "What's going on?"
Now this would be very rude, pushy and arrogant behaviour, except that I wonder if it is that he lacks social skills due to aspergers or autism (mild).
This is what I want to find out, so IF there is a reason, then I can let him off the hook. He has been very emotionally abusive over the years, yet I have not thought that it is deliberately malicious. However, he will not, cannot, shall not change his behaviour. He has driven away his daughter, now his middle son, and that leaves just one. (who gets on with him ok).
Thanks for reading all this, and will be glad of your help.
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theatre and I are there already. I'm having a very berry tea with crackers, cheese and cherry tomatoes and she's having a joint with some beer and we're both on really comfy recliners on thick pile carpet. we need some help with the decor if anyone is around??
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I'm trying to exercise daily. I was doing fairly well until I sprained my ankle 2 weeks ago but now I'm getting back on the horse. Today I walked over a mile with my arm weights that are about 22lbs total. I was out of shape and it was hard on my arms. I also did my 30 situps. I'm also going to drink a lot of water and try to eat healthy. I do tend to have a sweet tooth but I'm cutting...
Still, he does need limits. You can set rules for your house & for his interactions with you. Again, regardless of his diagnosis, abuse is not acceptable.
Decide what your limits are & tell him & then stick to them, as best you can.
Good luck!