Asperger Syndrome Support Group
Asperger syndrome - also referred to as Asperger's syndrome, Asperger's, Aspergers or just AS - is one of five neurobiological pervasive developmental disorders (PDD), and is characterized by deficiencies in social and communication skills, normal to above normal intelligence, and standard language development.
My husband and son were officially diagnosed AS last March under very adverse situation - a family crisis. My son accepts his diagnosis but thinks it's not very important to him. He's very quiet and hides away in computer games, but also goes to community college and has a part time job, both of which he's doing well at. He has very few friends, one in particular who he totally depends on for social outlets.
My bigger concern is my husband who does not accept his diagnosis, and swings from very angry and defensive to defeated. We have a therapist who is an expert in adults with AS who told my husband yesterday that there's nothing he can do for him as long as he denies his problems and blames me for everything.
My question, particularly for those of you diagnosed with AS, how did you come to acceptance of this? Is there anything I can do to help him ? At this point the stress of all this has led to a separation, but we have a large family and want to preserve our family life even if our marriage doesn't survive. I guess my question really is whether you think there's hope that he will get beyond the anger/denial/blame or if it's more likely that this initial reaction will stick. Maybe it's not possible to answer that question, but it would be helpful to me to hear how others came to terms with AS.
My bigger concern is my husband who does not accept his diagnosis, and swings from very angry and defensive to defeated. We have a therapist who is an expert in adults with AS who told my husband yesterday that there's nothing he can do for him as long as he denies his problems and blames me for everything.
My question, particularly for those of you diagnosed with AS, how did you come to acceptance of this? Is there anything I can do to help him ? At this point the stress of all this has led to a separation, but we have a large family and want to preserve our family life even if our marriage doesn't survive. I guess my question really is whether you think there's hope that he will get beyond the anger/denial/blame or if it's more likely that this initial reaction will stick. Maybe it's not possible to answer that question, but it would be helpful to me to hear how others came to terms with AS.
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theatre and I are there already. I'm having a very berry tea with crackers, cheese and cherry tomatoes and she's having a joint with some beer and we're both on really comfy recliners on thick pile carpet. we need some help with the decor if anyone is around??
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I'm trying to exercise daily. I was doing fairly well until I sprained my ankle 2 weeks ago but now I'm getting back on the horse. Today I walked over a mile with my arm weights that are about 22lbs total. I was out of shape and it was hard on my arms. I also did my 30 situps. I'm also going to drink a lot of water and try to eat healthy. I do tend to have a sweet tooth but I'm cutting...
Wishing you all the best as you seek help.
I recently discovered it myself.
It kind of caused me to be depressed and extremely confused. I then started to do a little research and realized that it is not a bad thing! I know for me being able to look back at my life it all makes sense! At least I know what it is and that i'm not *crazy or *mentally retarded!
Do a little reasearch for him, highlight the positives and show him that it isn't so bad! That is what I am still learning to figure out for myself.
I hope this helps!
*I do not mean offened anyone by using crazy or mentally retarded in the above. These are the 2 main things that I thought were wrong with me my whole life.
I liked Asperger's better when it was just a behavioral science category, now that it's Autism Spectrum it kind of invalidates my identity. I encourage both A/S and NT and all the other Alphabet soup to ground yourself in a reality that doesn't surround a "Disorder". Be yourself, work on yourself, develop communication skills and in the absence of skills develop protocol. Interface with the world but face the world with your own spin. With your husband...just let him be himself. Reach out but don't grab or push and you won't get your hand bit. And it can help to read up on it, just be wary of the tendency to seek a cure, the anxiety can be relieved but in my personal experience it builds up behind the medication. There's room for lots of life just being who we are and acting/living in concert with that.
A revelation! i thought, so it isn't just me. because for yrs I was hard on my self, whats wrong with 'me' why am 'I' so __ or so __? I am a terrible person, etc. etc.
I was my worst enemy and could not accept why i could not be like others and yet I tried very very hard.
The diagnosis was wonderful. It wasn't me, it was an actual condition, with an actual name, Great! there are others! if you google them they will come! You are not alone. It is not just "you." You are perfectly normal Kimberly (me conversing to self) for others like you.
So diagnosis doesn't have to be doomsday. It can be a beginning of self acceptance and with that a sigh.
Why flood the body with stress chemicals unnecessarily. (rhetorical) Aspergers presents and always will with its own challenges for each of us, why not hug it.
(again rhetorical)
You can't peel it off and toss it so the alternative is to make friends with it and sometimes compromise with it.