Why is it that the one who gave these illnesses: depression, bi-polar, anxiety disorder, ocd, et cetera to me (both genetically and by nurture), refuses to admit that I have a disorder that takes so much joy and pleasure out of my life? Is it because she feels ashamed? If she feels ashamed, shouldn't she say sorry? When I feel bad for something I've done, I say I am sorry. She won't though. Instead she wants to know when I plan to go back to work. She wonders when all these meds are going to put me back to "normal". She keeps saying, "Oh, you're doing better. Think positive! You're fine!" She knows how this feels, so why is she displaying so much denial instead of compassion? And on the same hand that I want her to apologize, I feel guilty for expecting her to. AAAHHHH!!! I feel so crazy. Maybe spending the day w/ her today wasn't such a good idea afterall...? Does this make any sense to anyone else out there? I know I'm a bit wound up, so sorry if this is too scrambled. My thoughts are flying around in my head. I'm just so frustrated that I can't get some compassion from my own mother!
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