Anxiety Support Group
Anxiety is a physical condition marked by intense and persistent feelings of distress, fear, angst or dread. General anxiety caused by routine day-to-day stresses usually passes quickly and is experienced by almost everyone at one time or another. However, such feelings that linger over time and are very difficult to cope with, and which lack a clear cause, may indicate...
I've been thinking about what triggered my first real panic attack. When I first started going to see a psychologist, I told him that I had never had a problem with anxiety before. Now that I've had over a month to really think about it, I'm not so sure that's true. I had lots of anxiety; I just didn't think about it. In fact, I had a lot of anxiety for a few months before my first real attack in late March. I didn't have very prominent anxiety even after I was in the hospital for a heart infection. I think I figured out the turning point.
In January, my dog, Bedford, died. It was sudden and unexpected. He was only 11, which I thought was too young for a dog of his breed to die. Later on, it seemed that I was having more and more anxiety. I would get upset over small things. Having a little trouble in school with a professor now was a huge problem that I would dwell over for days. The truth is, as much as I told myself that the loss of my dog was just that, I believe that I needed him more than I realized.
You see, Bedford was always at the door when I would get home from school. He was always happy to see me, as I would often be the first person her saw each afternoon. We didn't play around much, he wasn't very good at games, but he would always be there. I guess that I just felt safe when he was around. He was a constant in my life that would never change. I was so surprised by his death that I believe I started to worry about my own death. I mean, he died of heart failure, and I had a heart infection several months prior. So, why shouldn't I die too? I really miss my buddy. If I just had one more moment. Just one more time to tell him that I loved him. Just a chance to thank him for always being the same when everything else was always changing. Then, maybe I wouldn't feel so guilty for taking him for granted as a solid rock in my turbulent life. For never paying enough attention to him. I want him back.
I don't know if this is allowed, but I'm going to post something that I wrote the day after he died. I hope it makes those of you who have lost laugh a lot and maybe cry just a little. I posted it in my journal. Here's the link:
http://dailystrength.org/component/option,com_mamblog/Itemid,47/task,show/action,view/id,628918/
In January, my dog, Bedford, died. It was sudden and unexpected. He was only 11, which I thought was too young for a dog of his breed to die. Later on, it seemed that I was having more and more anxiety. I would get upset over small things. Having a little trouble in school with a professor now was a huge problem that I would dwell over for days. The truth is, as much as I told myself that the loss of my dog was just that, I believe that I needed him more than I realized.
You see, Bedford was always at the door when I would get home from school. He was always happy to see me, as I would often be the first person her saw each afternoon. We didn't play around much, he wasn't very good at games, but he would always be there. I guess that I just felt safe when he was around. He was a constant in my life that would never change. I was so surprised by his death that I believe I started to worry about my own death. I mean, he died of heart failure, and I had a heart infection several months prior. So, why shouldn't I die too? I really miss my buddy. If I just had one more moment. Just one more time to tell him that I loved him. Just a chance to thank him for always being the same when everything else was always changing. Then, maybe I wouldn't feel so guilty for taking him for granted as a solid rock in my turbulent life. For never paying enough attention to him. I want him back.
I don't know if this is allowed, but I'm going to post something that I wrote the day after he died. I hope it makes those of you who have lost laugh a lot and maybe cry just a little. I posted it in my journal. Here's the link:
http://dailystrength.org/component/option,com_mamblog/Itemid,47/task,show/action,view/id,628918/
Marigolds
You don't ever need to feel guilty...your Buddy knew you loved him...there is no doubt about that. I know how sad it is to lose a beloved pet. He was a memeber of your family and your grief is natural. He was lucky to have you. Many animals don't have happy lives.
deleted_user
dont feel guilty for something you couldnt controll. 11 is a long life for a dog (im a vet tech)....he lived a great life and he knows you miss him!!!! its hard when people loose their pets, it takes a huge toll on them. i know you may not what to think of this, but sometimes, it helps to buy a puppy. it seems to fill the empty space of your pet. it will never be buddy, but he will treasure you just like buddy did.
Join the Conversation
-
theatre and I are there already. I'm having a very berry tea with crackers, cheese and cherry tomatoes and she's having a joint with some beer and we're both on really comfy recliners on thick pile carpet. we need some help with the decor if anyone is around??
-
I'm trying to exercise daily. I was doing fairly well until I sprained my ankle 2 weeks ago but now I'm getting back on the horse. Today I walked over a mile with my arm weights that are about 22lbs total. I was out of shape and it was hard on my arms. I also did my 30 situps. I'm also going to drink a lot of water and try to eat healthy. I do tend to have a sweet tooth but I'm cutting...
