Anxiety Support Group
Anxiety is a physical condition marked by intense and persistent feelings of distress, fear, angst or dread. General anxiety caused by routine day-to-day stresses usually passes quickly and is experienced by almost everyone at one time or another. However, such feelings that linger over time and are very difficult to cope with, and which lack a clear cause, may indicate...
I have a lot of emotion in me and I don't know where it's coming from. I am in college and I look around at everyone and how their loads are way larger than mine, way more independent with their financial situations and yet are cool, collected, sociable. And yet I don't seem to be able to do anything and I don't want to. If I have the time to fix something that needs to be fixed I won't do it and I want to, but something in me stops me. I want to be social and feel accepted, but I can't. I miss the three people in the world that get me, two live across the country and the other committed suicide a few years ago. I can't do anything right and I feel so panicked at doing the smallest things.
The first time I used an ATM, I had to do heavy breathing to slow down my heart. And I look at that moment and wonder what the hell was so scary about it? Everytime I think about living life, I start to panic and find an excuse to say my life is fine the way it is and it's not. I'm not living, I'm taking up space and I want to try and get real help because I get terrified of the bus and getting off at the wrong stop if I'm alone and not for any reason I can think of. It keeps getting worse but I am scared of telling anyone in my life how bad it's getting and I don't know if it's just me, or a chemical thing.
And there are times where the emotions in me are so large that I want to cry and brake down and scream and for once not be the pushover that has given me the nickname of doormat among the small group of people who know me, but everytime I get there, I can't. It's hard to describe. And at those moments, even in a secluded place, I can't cry. Then there are other moments that are hardly anything and I just start crying and can't stop. And I did once try to tell a friend but they didn't really listen because they said I was the most chill person in the world who had nothing to stress over and she was jealous I could live like that. And I'm not. The only reason it seems that way is because everytime I want to do something that may cause me to be stressed or over booked or to have fun, or create a lasting connection with someone, or smile, or be spontaneous or get hurt, I panic and shut myself off onto my computer, in my head, in my movies.
The first time I used an ATM, I had to do heavy breathing to slow down my heart. And I look at that moment and wonder what the hell was so scary about it? Everytime I think about living life, I start to panic and find an excuse to say my life is fine the way it is and it's not. I'm not living, I'm taking up space and I want to try and get real help because I get terrified of the bus and getting off at the wrong stop if I'm alone and not for any reason I can think of. It keeps getting worse but I am scared of telling anyone in my life how bad it's getting and I don't know if it's just me, or a chemical thing.
And there are times where the emotions in me are so large that I want to cry and brake down and scream and for once not be the pushover that has given me the nickname of doormat among the small group of people who know me, but everytime I get there, I can't. It's hard to describe. And at those moments, even in a secluded place, I can't cry. Then there are other moments that are hardly anything and I just start crying and can't stop. And I did once try to tell a friend but they didn't really listen because they said I was the most chill person in the world who had nothing to stress over and she was jealous I could live like that. And I'm not. The only reason it seems that way is because everytime I want to do something that may cause me to be stressed or over booked or to have fun, or create a lasting connection with someone, or smile, or be spontaneous or get hurt, I panic and shut myself off onto my computer, in my head, in my movies.
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theatre and I are there already. I'm having a very berry tea with crackers, cheese and cherry tomatoes and she's having a joint with some beer and we're both on really comfy recliners on thick pile carpet. we need some help with the decor if anyone is around??
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I'm trying to exercise daily. I was doing fairly well until I sprained my ankle 2 weeks ago but now I'm getting back on the horse. Today I walked over a mile with my arm weights that are about 22lbs total. I was out of shape and it was hard on my arms. I also did my 30 situps. I'm also going to drink a lot of water and try to eat healthy. I do tend to have a sweet tooth but I'm cutting...
You shouldn't be so hard on yourself. I have had very similar experiences to what you have described. Just last night I was laying in bed watching tv and I started feeling really anxious for absolutely no reason at all. It made me so angry, but I have to remember that it's all part of the process of healing and it will pass just like it does every other time. I am here for you if you need to talk.
"The only reason it seems that way is because everytime I want to do something that may cause me to be stressed or over booked or to have fun, or create a lasting connection with someone, or smile, or be spontaneous or get hurt, I panic and shut myself off onto my computer, in my head, in my movies."
I couldn't have said this better myself, it describes what i'm going through too! Just stay positive...I have been getting a tiny bit better lately and you can too!