Hi, i didn't have anorexia as you described, but i do have brain cancer. (8yrs) The first yr i had a horrible problems throwing up even after all of the poisonous meds were out of my system. Since i "tossed" everyday for a yr, I believe i had become addicted to doing that. To get over it I had to eat alone (mostly healthy choices don't go overboard) and just have a drink of water or something with something bland like crackers or tea buscuits or just something you can nibble on when with friends & family. Took awhile to get over that but it worked. I still don't eat a lot when in public & more when i'm alone, but i don't run for the nearest bathroom anymore...
I totally understand about your body-image problem. I also feel fat most of the time now. When dx i was 26 sz3, now i'm 34 sz9. Friends tell me that i look better with the weight i've put on, being so tall but i am the one who can't fit into anything cute that i used to wear. I hate it. Oh well, we just gotta pretend to be confident & not show our dark sides until we can be truly confident right? I am not a doctor though sweetie, so maybe you want to go and talk with a professional on the subject, in private if it's better. Good luck...
Northernchick

I also had that problem for 5 years. I had no control over it, day after day. The strange thing is I was normal weight, even after throwing up after every meal. My body finally gave out and I had major depression and anxiety. I was put on antidepressants and thanks to that I have not thrown up in one year. I try to eat small meals and have lost weight. For me medication was a great help.

I was bulemic between the ages of 25-40. I lost all my teeth and weighed 117 lbs for about 10 minutes. I won't go into all the horrible details-we know what they are. I was given an antidepressant, and I've taken so many that I really don't remember the name-and one day I realized that I wasn't throwing up anymore. Of course, I got very heavy but that's still better than living life with my head in a toilet bowl. Meds do help.