When I chew on a piece of gum I immediately get a sense of satisfaction. It usually tastes good, and sometimes its a little hard, so getting it to that soft creamy consistency gives an added sense of accomplishment. I could be chewing the gum for hours, sometimes not noticing I still had the piece in my mouth, other times stopping to attempt to blow a bubble. It then gets to the point where my mouth starts to hurt for chewing so long and the gum has turned into rubbery cement. However, I find it very hard to spit out the gum. Every chew gets harder and harder and more painful, but I dont want to spit it out. I go through this anxiety of letting go of the gum. I mean, this gum has given me pleasure, and something to do with my time. Nevertheless, the gum has served its purpose and it must come out. So I spit it out. Now immediately after, I feel this sense of loss. My mouth still hurts, I still have that residue feeling on my tongue, and now I have nothing to do with those moments where nothing is happening. For the last few hours the gum has defined me, it gave me purpose, I must live on; Im chewing a piece of gum. Im not just standing here; Im chewing a piece of gum. I can multitask, Im playing scrabble and chewing a piece of gum. Now I just feel empty. That feeling lingers until something else takes my attention away. Later on, I completely forget about the gum. I dont remember the way it hurt to let it go. I forget the anxiety and the loss I felt. I dont feel empty anymore. I dont even remember what flavor it was. The next time I see one of those gumball machines I get a quarter out of my pocket. I put it in the machine, take the gumball, put it in my mouth and the process starts all over again. I think to myself that this time I wont chew the gum that long, Ill spit it out when it loses its flavor, but I dont. I chew it until it hurts. I could not get the gum and therefore not feel the pain, but I do it anyway. I dont know why.

Does anyone else ever feel that way?