what other things doesnt he trust you on? Like what time you left work? if you said you went shopping but were gone longer then the average time? Something about your cell phone? What else besides cheating would he not trust you on?

One thing I will say is that I am fond of the saying, those that accuse are the ones do.

What it sounds like is he is feeling insecure like you said. What kind of questions have you asked him already as to why he thinks you cheat?

While I feel for you, I can relate to what he might be going through. I used to drive my ex CRAZY because I was so distrustful; it got to the point where he said "you need to work on this or I'm out of here". I didn't trust him because I was scared of losing him, and because of my anxiety, that's how I expressed it.

You say you are with him all the time...maybe that's a part of the problem? I have been through a lot in the past year that has basically taught me that one of the most important parts of a healthy relationship is being able to spend time apart, and having separate lives. We all sometimes need a night out with friends, or even just a few hours alone to think our thoughts. While it may seem sweet that he wants to be with you all the time, it's obviously driving you up the wall.

I hate to say it, but the only way I was able to deal with the fear of losing my ex, and all the distrust that came with it, was to lose him. We broke up for a lot of reasons, but one of the bigger ones was that I simply couldn't trust him, and he couldn't stand the accusations anymore. It took that blow for me to finally be able to confront my distrust and look back into my past and begin the healing process.

If you are concerned about this now, I can only say that, without help, he will probably just keep getting worse. Not only do you deserve trust, but he should be completely comfortable with the woman he has chosen to spend forever with. Have you considered couples counseling? If I were going to marry someone with trust issues, I would want to get them resolved before my walk down the aisle. It may be that there is something in his past that is keeping him from fully trusting you, and it's obviously weighing you down. For his sake, but more for yours, explain to him that you love him, but his trust issues need to be addressed if he wants to continue the relationship.

If he is resistant at first, it doesn't mean that he doesn't love you, but more likely that he just doesn't see it as a problem. He might try to turn it around on you...I used to do that to my ex. "If you loved me, you would be with me right now instead of out with your friends, you're probably with some other girl" etc.

I hope, for your sake, that he is not getting obsessive, because too often I have seen distrust blossom into obsession with whereabouts and then into violence and mania in an otherwise stable and loving person. I would really urge you to suggest couples counseling with a therapist or a religious leader whom you trust.

Good luck, and remember that you deserve trust and respect; don't put your needs aside to assuage him!

-Nicole

I think nlinvil hit the mark - this is HIS problem, and there is nothing that you can say or do that will change this. It would be different if you had a history of lying and cheating, but it sounds like he's just either overly anxious or overly controlling - either way, its not going to change until he chooses to go and get professional help.

And the fact is bluedog, if he won't make that choice then you're going to have to make a choice for yourself... can you live with him like this (sounds like its already driving you nuts!) or do you need to walk away now?

ok i think you may need to go and google Emotional abuse...as you are a victim just like me...it very interesting and you will find yourself nodding in agreement to what many of the sites are saying...i can't think of any off the top of my head but please do go and take a look at a couple! You may think that i am over reacting...i did when someone told me to go and do it too but it was like i was reading my life story ...all 15 years of my relaionship was on this page...and i thought i was in a normal relationship:) hugs xox

you cannot build a relationship without trust. You may suggest to him to get counceling for his insecurities.

get out of the relationship NOW... I was where you are now, but I married him, and most of our marrige has been HELL with his not trusting me.

Without trust NO relationship can survive, be it a personal or professional. Its a 2-way thing and both people need to trust each other with the security and confidence this brings.
If he doesn't trust you he must have a really low opinion of you and himself. Get rid and find a decent bloke!
Take care ;)