I've noticed several people here mentioning anxiety about health issues. This has become an increasing challenge for me lately. I've been going through menopause, so there are a number of unfamiliar sensations and physical changes that I sometimes interpret as symptoms of something serious. Once I start thinking that way, my thoughts take on a life of their own, and I convince myself that I'm terminal. I can't talk about this to anyone because I'm so embarassed, but if the symptoms persist, I eventually go to a clinic to have it checked out. This also embarasses me because I know they think I'm a hypochondriac, and I probably am, but it's part of my anxiety. The thing is, when I think I'm terminal, even though I'm anxious on one level, I get into a kind of peaceful mental state. I do a life review and plan my funeral and compose my obituary (just in my head), and feel a relief that I won't have to deal with all the stresses in my life any more. Once I am reassured I'm physically healthy (I am in good shape, eat well and exercise), there's a relief of course, but also a let down that now I have to go on with everything. Is this absolutely nuts or what?? My life isn't that bad, but there are a lot of emotionally needy people in my family, and I'm the one who supposedly has her act together that everyone turns to. They have no idea what I go through. Sometimes I feel like I don't have a life of my own, but I'm a supporting player in everyone else's drama. Can anyone relate to this? (I am on Wellbutrin and Trazodone for anxiety and depression)
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