I was 'intense' as my girlfriend put it. I started on Paxil almost 2 weeks ago, started at 10 mg then up to 20 mg the second week. I go see my doctor in 2 days...I have missed school the last two days and I feel like I'm having the beginning of a panic attack. I am paranoid and I doubt people's sincerity. I don't want to leave my apartment and my legs are doing the nervous bouncing. I am scared of interpersonal issues - hanging out with friends and wondering if my girlfriend thinks I'm really quite cracked and just isn't telling me. (Even though I know she doesn't think I'm cracked, I still think these things.) I feel like I'm going to screw something up...even though I'm not quite sure what that something is. I just know I don't feel ok.
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Today is my 25th birthday, to my somewhat lack of surprise I can see already no one really seems to care. I've always been the kinda person to make sure that everyone I Care about feels appreciated and knew somebody had their back. I can count 4 times this year when I Went out of my way to make sure a "friend" felt good on their birthday, especially if they got left hanging. Its early in the...
theatre and I are there already. I'm having a very berry tea with crackers, cheese and cherry tomatoes and she's having a joint with some beer and we're both on really comfy recliners on thick pile carpet. we need some help with the decor if anyone is around??