When my meds aren't working I either find an excuse (a sad one at that!) to not go, or I go and sit very close to the exit door and try really hard to maintain but always knowing the door is close by for a fast escape into the fresh air and open space.

Focus on what is important, and that is your children. I know it's hard, but the people who are going to this function are going for thier loved ones,the same as you. Smile and have a good time. I know sometimes it feels like everyone is eyeballing us, but that is not the case. Just take a deep breath and walk into the concert like you belong there, BECAUSE YOU DO. Have fun and good luck.

We sat with friends tonight, he knows she doesn't. I sat on the end and practically broke hubby's hand. Had to leave for a while to calm down but I can't do that with my kids around. Plus my parents will be at the second concert. I have to keep it together so noone finds out anything is wrong with me.

I think alot of your anxiety comes from you trying to make sure noone thinks something is wrong with you. Personally if someone doesn't like the fact I have anxiety and can't do certain things or have to do something different then they do then I just don't associate with them. All my friends know. My family doesn't really deal with it well and I have distanced myself from them because I did not enjoy the negative feelings I got from them.

I go to my kids functions and it is hard. If I have to get up and leave for a bit I do. Nothing I can do about it. If I had some other illness that prevented me from doing normal things people would still judge me for not doing things like they do.

How do you hide this from your family? How long have you had anxiey/panic disorder? Don't you think they see it and wonder what is wrong with you? I know that it can easily be considered your personality by casual acquaintances, but how in the world do you hide it from your kids?

I read your profile. You mention that your hormone levels are twice their levels and you're undergoing some kind of study. Can you share more detail?

Mine did not "burst" until I began perimenopause. However I had just turned 40 and drs thought me too young. After two years of "HELL", menopause was over for me, and my FSH levels were twice that of a normal post-menopausal woman which is rare; however, according to my dr, there was nothing medically wrong to cause those levels.

Do you know more than me? What kind of study? And are you going thru menopause?

My husband knows and a few close friends but I am keeping things private. My mother would say that she has the same problem and my father...well he is unemotional. My kids are young enough to probably not notice. There have been a lot of stress in the house since September due to my mother-in-law being very ill.

No menopause, just I believe it is the testosterone that is double. First they thought PCOS but that was ruled out. They are doing a complete endocrinology workup. I find out more Thursday and Friday this week if I'm lucky. I would rather have something wrong than be told that they have no clue.

You may want to go back to WHY US??? on the discussions. there was pretty good input on this subject. LinDuh had a great insight to this.

I wish you luck, truly. I never saw a endocrinologist, but I did undergo many tests regarding hormones including an MRI for my kidneys since there are also hormones there. My thyroid has been tested. I don't know what else they could possibly test.

I do know that I've had anxiety since childhood just from the way my family describes me when I was little. However, it did not interfere with my day-to-day living until the menopause cycle started. When that began, everything just went ballistic.

That's why, sort of like you, I believe that is is somehow all related, but all my medical tests have been done. They could not find any medical reason.

I had bizarre high blood pressure that they also could not find a medical reason for and bp meds would not lower it. My bp did not lower until I was sent to a pdoc and he placed me on klenopin. I take no bp med.......... my klenopin keeps my bp down.

I "guess" i hope they find something "medical" wrong with you if that's what you want, but I hope it's something easy to cure.

But if not, unfortunately you will be like me, wondering what happened, how it happened, and the worse yet, you're going to have to accept it and acceptance for me was the hardest. I've always said how can a highly paid detailed oriented database analyst go to bed one night at 40 and wake up a totally disoriented, scatterbrained, panic stricken, anxiety mess.

As many drs as I've seen, no one has been able to answer that question. And yes, my kids did pay the price those years. I was off the wall and didn't know why. But my kids were teenagers. I am single so there was no husband for support and some family understand and others can't understand why I can't just control it.

I DO try to control it. I fight an inner batttle with myself everyday to control it. Sometimes I look at myself as Fred Flintstone. I remember as a kid watching him and he would have a little devil on one shoulder and a little angel on the other and they would be fighting. That's how I see myself sometimes.

I attended all my kids' things in school because it did not effect me then like it does now. If I were then like I am now, no way, no how. I do "treat" myself sometimes and FORCE myself to go somewhere that I don't want to go. Sometimes I do fine (but I always sit near a door), and other times I do not. I went out with a friend last weekend. The first place we went I was fine. It was "open" and well lit and not extremely crowded. I never thought of anxiety or panic. I had a blast. We left there and went to another place that was not only crowded, but dark. We sat in a booth (huge mistake) and somehow I ended up on the inside near the wall. Within 5 minutes, I am pushing a friend out of the way and headed for the restroom (which I didn't know where it was) and started splashing cold water on my face. I could not breathe. I tried so hard to catch my breath. I looked in the mirror and said, "You can do this". No, I couldn't. I made my way outside where it was FREEZING and there were tables out there. I just sat in a chair in the freezing cold breathing in the cold air. THe girls I came with came out to see what happened (they do not know of my condition). They thought I had too much to drink....... ha.......... I only drank gingerale. I just ask them if they could please get my coat and keys as I had to leave.

Why are we so ashamed of this thing? We can't help it. I didn't ask for it to happen.

Didn't mean to write a book but I just hope you are prepared. I hope results come back as you want them to.............. but if they don't, then you're going to have to start getting a handle on it and accept it's not "medical".

But I will say an extra prayer for you that it will be medical and something simple. Please keep me posted.

Have you tried meditation or hypnotherapy? There's also a therapy called EMDR where you use rapid eye movement(it's said to be helpful for people who've been sexually abused among other things. Plus EFT (emotional freedom technique) where you use tapping--you tap yourself in different places. You can find info. about these techniques on the computer and therapists who do it too. Hopefully this helps. In the meantime, you might want to try a little klonopin or buspar to help. Good Luck.

I don't see the doctor till Friday and need something to get me through Wednesday and Thursday night. Going to beg for xanax or something similar

Ironically I just sent you a message before seeing this post advising you to ask for xanax for this week to take as needed. Don't "beg" for it............. "DEMAND" for it. Just ask for .5 mg. That's all you need. It's going to make you sleepy as you are not used to it.............. so be prepared for that. But I think for you, you would probably rather feel sleepy during that concert than rushing out the door for all to see!!!!

You don't have much time............. HURRY!

I agree with the last post. Having an "escape route" is very helpful, even if you never have to use it. I'm a high school teacher with extreme anxiety, so I understand about feeling trapped (I keep my classroom door open at all times!).