
Anxiety Support Group
Anxiety is a physical condition marked by intense and persistent feelings of distress, fear, angst or dread. General anxiety caused by routine day-to-day stresses usually passes quickly and is experienced by almost everyone at one time or another. However, such feelings that linger over time and are very difficult to cope with, and which lack a clear cause, may indicate...

deleted_user
Hi, i wanted to share the past few yrs of my life with you so you'd know me better. I'm 34 and had brain cancer for over 8yrs now. In the yrs before i was a really active person. I was in the armed forces (Cdn) for 5yrs, went to college for 3yrs & then became a social worker for another 3yrs. I moved far away from home (with a fiance) to become a cop. (my childhood dream) Only 2wks away from training I was given a death sentence instead. I was given only 4 days to live. Long story short, I had to move back home after a few surgeries to get treatments & move back in with my parents. In the 1st few months my fiance left me and had to re-learn how to walk, talk, write and read again. A ton of re-hab later and before i turned 30 i moved into an apt. of my own again. I can look after myself with no problems but i can't hold down a full-time job. I sleep all the time. I've never been able to fit in anywhere now (even got kicked out of a senior's centre if you can believe that.) I've lost most of my friends & my family can't really understand why it's been so long & i'm still not working or back to my old self. I've changed a lot and become a loner. Probably to ease the pain of it all i eat now & am not very active. When i once was 120lbs i now am 160lbs. My self-esteem is in the toilet. I don't go out because i hate to be in the public eye & if i have to i wear a disguise of my hat sunglasses & headphones attached to nothing so that i don't have to talk with anyone either. I know that i need some help but i am on a long waiting list to see a psychiatrist. It's getting more & more difficult to wait. A lot of little things can make me happy but only for a while then i go back to this deperate feeling. It would be nice to have some understanding friends & maybe just once to hear that everything will be all right...
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I don't know if I can relate but I too was in a position of being told I might have cancer. Although it didn't turn out that way the experience cause me significant mental trauma. I have since suffered from health anxiety to a point of panic. I too am a loner who believe my current mental condition prevents me from interacting with others. I say this only to let you know where I'm coming from.
I know it's a cliche and all but you really have to take it one day at a time. Sometimes an hour at a time. After all you've gone through it's understandable why you want to withdraw. After suffering so many setbacks a person sometimes feels that by withdrawing they will no longer suffer any more misfortune. Add to that the rejections and it's easy to see how you feel. Feelings of ugliness and low selfworth are unfortunate affects of our own internal feelings. If you can find periods of time where you can allow yourself some quite time, where you can quite your mind and allow yourself to experience quiteness and calm. Allow your body to relax and enter a meditative state, if for brief periods. Learn to have quite periods where you mind is calm and quite.
Eventually start to go out more. Start by taking walks to the front sidewalk and linger there for awhile. Take short trips to a store or to get some essential items. Don't hurry or rush but allow yourself to walk slowly all the while breathing slow deliberate breaths. Allow youself to linger in those public places for as long as you can. Listen to the conversation going on around you and watch the activities going on around you. Do this every other days and for longer walks. Linger from time to time to experience things that make you happy. When comfortable enough you may want to make conversation with the clerks. Nothing heavy just to say 'hello' and ask how their day is going. Work from that standpoint, expanding as you get comfortable.
Make some friends over the internet, converse often, the internet allows you to be who you are. Take precautions not to give out personel information or your address. Maybe once your comfortable doing that you'll feel better about talking to someone in person.
Contact your local health department or, if you have a university close by, check out 'outpatient' services for mental health.
You'll be okay. Each day is a chance to get a little better. It doens't have to be a lot, just a little. After awhile the littles add up to alot. At the beginning of every hour stop and tell yourself that you are worth loving and mentally list 4-5 things that are worth loving you for.
Be your own cause.
HTH.
Good luck with everything... you are in my prayers
-Greta
We're now 34
Had brain cancer for 8 years = 26
Before that in the armed forces 5 years = 21
Social worker 3 years = 18
college 3 years =15
Meaning graduated from High school at 14. (I was in University at age 14 after graduating from Grade 13 high school so I can be too doubtful !)
At 34 years old kicked out of a seniors apartment. What a surprise !
C'mon Nothernchick either give it hard shake or write a troll that makes some kind of sense.
Hope this helps. I know it can be difficult to show true emotions or feelings or even full stories on an email. I try not to rush to any conclusions though right off the bat right away now. My own mental stories of my life are so jumbled now that maybe i don't write them for other people but for myself & how i see them...
Take care all, Northerchick...
I am so sorry for all you've been through. I am also really angry at the way Kcbythesea responded to your post. Your reply to her was excellent.
Kcbythesea, this board is a place to offer support and understand. You are out of line.
And hey, your mental capacity seems just fine. You're very well spoken and explain yourself very well. Better than most people anyways, that's for sure.