Didn't make any new friends in college is already making me feel worthless, and now there are ppl who hate me
My roommate, she is a really nice girl but she makes horrible friends. What just happened is few of her friends came over to see her hamster and it sounds like there are 5-6 dudes. One dude came in an yelled" where are the Asians(me and another girl)?" And suddenly saw me underneath my coats and said," fk She's home? She sleeping?"and other rude stuffs. I'm just hiding under my coats and with oily face mask on. I pretended sleeping and wait for them to leave but they didn't. I ended up getting up and the room got in to awkward silent. I said hi to these dudes and asking if it bothers them that I'm Asian. Nobody said shit. And I kept on saying that I'm awake the whole time and heard everything. Still silent. They said nothing and was leaving. I told them that I was leaving so that they can stay, but my roommate said they should go. This shit is the most brave thing that I have done in my 18 years on earth, but now I kinda feel like I did the wrong thing. I cried when I was telling my dad these whole thing. It feels like nothing is going well in my life escpially my social life. Not only I don't have any friends besides ppl I know from highschool, but now there are 6-7 ppl who hate me in this school. What a great start.
Has anyone ever experienced blacking out from anxiety. yesterday I had a disociative attack and I dont know how to deal with it. I keep spiriling thinking about it and I just feel so embarrassed about how I looked and the episode. All I want to do is be invisable right now and I cant stop focusing on it. Sorry if im just rambling I just dont know if anyone has experienced that too.