Yesterday was my birthday, and I had built it up in my mind for weeks. I was so excited. My Mom planned a special day for us and I couldn't wait! As soon as we got in the car, I started having intrusive thoughts and my mood kind of declined. I got quiet and wasn't my usual excited, chipper and playful self. I almost felt like I couldn't get myself out of it, but I tried so hard. I was having fun, but it probably didn't look like I was because I felt anxious. I tried telling her I had fun, but I think she is disappointed. Which makes me sad and now I'm feeling this feeling of not being able to breathe, shaking, crying, regret and wanting to disappear. (I have never, nor would I ever self harm, btw.)
I feel awful. I feel like I've ruined the entire day yesterday and made her feel bad. I tried to talk to her this morning to tell her how much fun I had, but I ended up bawling and I think I made things worse. I feel like a loser and that I just ruined it...and I'll never get that birthday back. I can't shake this horrible feeling. I'm already taking celexa (on week 3) and have even tried CBD. I don't know what's wrong with me. Why can't I just stop being this way and just be normal and happy? I've just ruined one of the most special days for my mom and I and I'll never get it back. I feel like I want to disappear. What's wrong with me? Am I the only one who feels like this? Regret at not being in a good mood and for letting people down? (I don't even know if I let her down, but I sure feel like I did) I can't stop crying, shaking and this feeling in my chest is getting worse.
Muji retired Friday after 40 years of teaching. Muji has been so supportive as a CL here on DS, let's show Muji our support. Let's give Muji a retirement party! Post your retirement wishes to Muji as he transitions to retired life in Mexico. Let us know what food you are bringing to the party and any gifts you might have for Muji. Cheers Muji to your new adventure!
Does anyone have experience with restless leg issues? Of course my legs are jumpy and tingling off and on and that triggers my health anxiety, which then means I am super jittery and tingling all over. Maybe my vitamins and minerals are low I did have weight loss surgery 2 years ago and I don't take my vitamins like I should and I am anemic have been for years. Of course it does not help that I...