For the past few months ive been having really bad thoughts that ive obsessed about first it was I felt i was really sick cause my legs felt really dumb. Got everything including a Cat scan which said everything was fine. I would find myself everyday thinking about what could possibly be wrong with me. I had a few panic attacks here and there. I havent had one in a few weeks but in those weeks I started to one day obsess about maybe having a heart attack because my chest hurt. Then one day thinking maybe i was having a brain tumor because my head hurt for a few days. The worst one and scariest is the feeling that someday ill just go insane and i think about that all the time. Its scary and i wish I knew how to get these things all off my mind and just be able to live life like i used to. Its been hard to feel anything at all lately except thinking about all these things!!
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I have been here before, a long long time ago and now I am back.Forgive me for not just saying what I want to say,even under a triple dose of antidepressants it is still raw and seeping and I am hesitant at revealing it as at least under the bandages around my heart I don,t have to look at how raw and wounded.My child was cleaved from my heart by his own actions. my child of ten,turning eleven...
theatre and I are there already. I'm having a very berry tea with crackers, cheese and cherry tomatoes and she's having a joint with some beer and we're both on really comfy recliners on thick pile carpet. we need some help with the decor if anyone is around??