I already mentioned this topic in my last post, but I want to continue it. I'm a healthy 16-year-old with no medical or mental issues at all, but yet I'm just constantly searching for answers on whether or not there will be life after death or if one day death just randomly comes to me during my sleep. It's because I love life even when I have my own struggles that I still need to overcome. I think the journey and the fascination of human existence on an earth in a universe nowhere are so compelling. Couldn't have just been random. For the past months I've been struggling to sleep properly because I'd stay up pretty late then automatically wake up early without an alarm clock. It's because I'm afraid of sleep. I'm not sure if it's true, but isn't sleep like death but just half unconsciousness? I literally don't feel anything in my sleep and when I wake up it takes awhile to remember who I am, where I am, and what day it is.
If any of you are religious too please share your thoughts on that. Death and sleep are different, but is the difference that for death, we will wake up to a new life in eternity, whereas sleep is waking up to a new day on earth? I'm just so afraid if I get bombed or shot randomly when walking around, so dying at an early age. And I can't buy into any of the facts I learn in biology class. It's interesting but makes me doubt spirituality.
I'll be sitting in school, learning about whatever and all of a sudden, I get this feeling in my chest. My chest tightens up, my heart beats faster and my breath gets shorter. However, I don't show this to anyone. I just sit there as if there is nothing wrong, while inside, I am freaking out. All I want to do is scream, but I just sit there. Nobody has any idea that I want to run out of the room...
I have very bad anxiety. Has anyone ever noticed when theyre going through anxiety that sometimes your legs start to shake, and your knees feel like theyre going to buckle?