i wish i didn't have a family and people that cared about me. i just don't feel like i can do this. no, that's wrong...i don't want to do this. what kind of quality of life is this? i feel this everyday. maybe not all day sometimes, but at least a few times each day and it is always in my head. i feel like i am living for other people because if they knew what i feel they'd let me go. i feel like my life is tainted now and i will never be the same only this time it's worse. so is that to say the next time will be even worse? i don't want to live the next 50 yrs like this. i just can't.
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I have been here before, a long long time ago and now I am back.Forgive me for not just saying what I want to say,even under a triple dose of antidepressants it is still raw and seeping and I am hesitant at revealing it as at least under the bandages around my heart I don,t have to look at how raw and wounded.My child was cleaved from my heart by his own actions. my child of ten,turning eleven...
theatre and I are there already. I'm having a very berry tea with crackers, cheese and cherry tomatoes and she's having a joint with some beer and we're both on really comfy recliners on thick pile carpet. we need some help with the decor if anyone is around??