How is it that I can feel fine for days, sometimes weeks and then seemingly out of the blue I'm hit with such anxiety and social phobia that I feel like a scared little kid. My ego cant take this anymore. I called my doctor today (who hasnt yet called back) to ask about other meds. I'm on Buspar right now for anxiety and it doesnt seem to help. What I like about it is that I can take it as needed, but over the last month since I was prescribed this med. I've started feeling like I should just give it up and go back to the Zoloft. I just feel like i cant ever really TRULY move forward. That any given moment I'll be snapped right back into my crippling fear, which is totally irrational. I think this bout started with finally being free of an unhealthy relationship and wanting to move on, being attracted to other people and actually believing that if I want, something can come of it. Its like being stuck in such an unhealthy rut for so long was comforting and now that I have this freedom, I'm completely terrified, and this makes me feel ashamed, I get so uncomfortable in social situations (even with my close friends!!!) that I flush and sweat and my ears turn purple they're so hot. Its humiliating. I just wish I could be a calm person. That I could take part in conversations and relationships of all kinds without being so self contious and uncomfortable, I just dont get it. I know better, and I'm not a narcissist (I dont think anyway:) so why do I react this way and why is it so far out my control? This issue really strips my confidence away, and I'm left feeling so raw and helpless, like I wont ever be passed this issue. And I'm so drained from dealing with it and trying to stay optimistic. I dont know, I'm just rambling now I think, if anyone has any thoughts or words of encouragement, they would be so appreciated right now. Thanks.
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