i've been away fromwork for a week because of depression and anxiety. dr says i have double depression. I'm scared to go back because of the principal who likes to yell at me and is writing me up so she can fire me. (I'm a teacher.) I feel badly about not being there for my kids. I'm scared to asnswer people's where have you been questions. i'm scared that i've missed something important while i was out. i'm scared because i realize how very depressed i've been for a very long time, and not really even recognizing it. i'd say i want to be a bettter person, but i thought i was ok. now i think maybe i have to see how ill i am before i can be ok. but then i'm asking for acceptance, aren't i? and i don't even live in a place like home. i miss the mountains and the trees and the outdoors. i'm not a short girl, i'm a mountain girl. i wonder if ii hvae to chagne careers but know that i can't even think straight. i just need someone tohelp me, please! I just need to knokw that i really will get through this, even though it doesn't feel like i will. i feel i've let everyone down. i'm scared, and i dont' even know why. well, i know, but -- i dont' know. i guess that's anxciety, right?
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