It's good that you want to understand. But I also know it's hard to know exactly what he's going through. Having anxiety like this is at the least very difficult. It causes a range of physical symptoms as well as mental fatigue and depression. He probably feels embarassed somewhat also, and hopeless.

I always appreciate when my friends or husband just make me laugh and forget about all that makes me worried. Staying active is key, whether it me just walking in the mall, running, or playing a board. It keeps the mind occupied and stimulated. My doc recommends "behaving badly"--doing little things you normally wouldn't (but not dangerous). For example sunbathing nude or going to a karaoke bar. I think it's supposed to help you feel a release of confined energy. Maybe you can direct him to this website or a support group in the area since it helps to know you're not alone.

Good luck

I am sorry you are having a go with your boyfriend, some people shy away some need you to just be there no matter what. I say keep tryin, he will know you still love him and to understand this is not something he picked and it is a very hard thing to deal with. I say keep strong and maybe go see him if you can!

please be there for him it is hard when you have this happening but be patient with him.

Anxiety, Phobias, and Panic
by Reneau Z. Peurifoy at Amozon.com for like $10.
This book may help you and your boyfriend.
This was the first help book I got after I saw a shrink and he gave me the title of Agoraphobia. I tend to push people away but I really need people for support. It is hard not knowing what is happening to you and not knowing how to control yourself.

You have some good advice here. Your BF is very lucky to have you.

He may attempt to push you away. Not only do you not understand it, but believe me, he doesn't either.

However, he WILL need his space just to be alone. Don't take offense and let him have it. Let him know that you are still close by, but let him be alone when he wants to be. Sometimes I just like to drive............. completely alone with no destination in mind.

He may get irritable with you at times. Don't take it personally. You need to figure out the best rhythm for you and him, when to leave him to himself and when to be there, and how to react if he shows direct irritability towards you.

Don't tell him that you understand because that is insulting to him. You DON'T understand because you are not the one experiencing it. No one but someone who experiences it can understand. Just let him feel and know your support............ let him know that no, you don't know how it feels............ have him tell you how it feels. It will show him you have an interest in knowing. Ask him what you can do for him at certain times to help him get thru the rough spots.

Good luck to you............ he is very fortunate to have you.

I agree with LinDuh, Your BF will need a bit of space.
You are doing a fantastic job by just being there for him. This is the best thing that you can do as when your BF is ready to seek advice or just a bit reassurance then he will know he can turn to you.
Its a really confusing time when you suffer with any form of anxiety - it takes over every part of your life.
Dont take it personnally if he doesnt reply to emails or answer your calls - he is probably still coming to terms with what is going on.
dont forget to look after yourself too, stay strong and positive - i know its hard.
Dont give up, your boyfriend that you know and love is still there - he is just going through a hard time at the moment.

XXX

If you can try not to give up on him. I know my nephew had such a hard time and his girlfriend was able to stick with him when it got rough. He's feeling much better now and I know that all of this has made them much closer. I know it's hard but try to hang on.

i thank all of you for your replies, they are helping me so much, today, i was about to give up, today is hard, i just tried to call him, he will not answer my call, i just have pray that after the doctor on friday, things will start to get better. any more advice would be great

dont giv up on him chick!! when he gets through this bad patch he will realise wot an angel u are, for caring an wanting to understand. i think u sound great and wish my partner cared like u do. somtimes when i've read stuff on here that relates to my anxiety, i ask him to read it, an hes like, 'look, it dont mean anything to me i dont get it' thats his attitude an it really hurts me. u are so doing the right thing, trying to learn bout the condition gud luk with it xx

ok for some reason today is even worse for me, last night i sent him an e-mail (thought after this one, i'd wait a couple of days, give it some time) anyway driving to work this morning, this feeling came over me to just give up, i felt so stupid like i've swallowed any pride i had left to make him feel better and encourage him, and some (most days) no response, does he read them and just not care? i know this is probably part of the anxiety/depression (mostly depression now) but i'm feeling weird now. can anyone help me i promise i am still trying, just upset and feeling weird.

wot did i tell u hun!? 'wots ment to be will always find its way' from wot you've sed, there must be no doubt in his mind that u love him and are 100% there 4 him - so let him come to u, if he dosnt, maybe its just not ment to be. but i reckon he just needs space, be stong, an like i sed, you making yourself ill over it wont help anyone lolxx

i know i keep talking about helping my boyfriend, now the anxiety is mostly just depression, i have not talked to him now since monday, his dr. appt is today, i did try and call him today, of coarse he did not answer, i know its only been for days, and you all are telling me to just wait and give it time, but it is consuming my every thought, i think its because it is so hard for me to image him looking at his phone or reading his e-mail and not responding, i know he may need time, but to push me out like this is breaking my heart. is this really part of it? please help me

it has been over a week, i have tried everything i know to try, i'm starting to think that is really over, and i am devistated. any advice or help?

I think maybe you should just back off for awhile. Don't email or try to call anymore. He's trying to come to grips of what is happening to him and right now, you're emails and calls may seem more like an intrusion. Once he starts to see the doctor, starts to understand his condition, and possibly get on some meds, he will eventually come to seek you out again. But, given experience, this could take a lot of time.

Not to discourage you at all. But I'm afraid you're just going to have to wait for him to come to you. I know it's gotta be hard on you and you feel like the relationship is over. Go on about your life and don't let this consume it.

If it were me, I'd probably send him a cute little funny card in the snail mail about once every 3-4 weeks. Something to make him smile and to let him know you're still out there.

In it, don't write anything like you're there for him, or you're worried about him, etc. Don't reference this illness at all. In writing in it, act like everything is the same as it used to be. He needs some "normalcy" to his life. Just by sending the card lets him know you're worried and there for him, you don't need to say it inside.

Write some spontaneous in it like a funny memory of y'all, or something you might've done that very day that will make him laugh.

In the meantime, you can be reading the books, etc., and gaining as much knowledge as you can. One thing is for sure, you can't crowd his space and that's something he might be feeling right now. He needs to accept and deal with this on his on. Hopefully once he has, he will let you back in.

Hang in there. It DOES take awhile.

thank you, waiting is the hardest thing i have ever done, i just want to stay in bed every morning until he is back to me, and i keep having really bad dreams, like he has a new girlfriend, its weird, i feel like i am going crazy myself, all my friends are now worried about me. thank you, your great