Ok as I had fell in love with this guy. As I am one of the managers at a retail company. As thru my whole life ive always had anxiety but have always manage to control it. As from as when I was a kid I was always shy around people and the nervous type, but how ever when there was something I wanted to do or if there was something I wanted I always had the ambitions to go for it if I wanted it that bad I id go for it. So anyway the man I fell in love with I was one of the ones who interviewed at my store for a job. From the start I had a feeling I would form this bond with him which would be frowned upon since I was a higher up. So when I interviewed him and I knew I was not going to tell him know I knew I was going to give him the job no matter what. so anyway as an ambituous person when it comes to getting the job done I can be very fiesty, but with him I knew I could count on him. So anyway as I admit I would let him do things where I would never let any of my employees do and I would do things for him I wouldnt do for any other employees. So anyway when It come for birthdays,christmas or valentines I would send things to the store anonymous saying your secret admirer and when I would do the schedule I would always make sure he had 1 weekend day off and holidays like 4th of July. So thats when tentions were really starting to build up and all my other workers would start giving him a hard time about it and id over hear him saying he never would request those time it just happend to be he was scheduled for the time off. So then I realized I needed to call him into my office privately and tell him everything up front on what I was doing and why and tell him how I felt about him and why I hired him and how I was his secret admirer. I asked would he ever consider going out with me for real and If he did I was going to have to transfer to a different store he said yes where he made me tear up and he told me how pretty I was and how intellegent and how he was impressed how I was able to speak my mind and from the heart.
So anyway the next day when my store manager came in I had to be honest with him and said I needed to be transfered, he was honest he was not happy about the sittuation. but was glad I came to him and was honest with the situation and said it was going to have to remain a secret and was going to have to start treating him like all the other employees and no more giving him special treatment and he knows you cant help how you feel about a person.So 3 weeks later I was sent to a different store and was promoted to a higher management.
so once that happen we had started going out and we had falling in love and grew more and more attached to him and to this day I dont know what my day would be like with out him.So anyway about a month ago as 5 years have gone on I had a past employee come work in my store and she started a rumor blowing things outve proportion saying I had been sleeping around with men from other store and how dirty I was and now because of that and people looking at me different I dont even wanna be there no more. I just wanna move on to a new career and I felt I had done the right thing at the time by transfering before it got ugly and before leaving I told the love of my life while I was there we couldnt see eachother or talk unless it was work related and I had to stop doing special treatment for while i was his boss. I always wonder from the past and now how is it anyones buisness which causes me anxiety I dont even talk about my personal life at work.
Now I wonder did I do something wrong falling in love with some guy I hired and to this day I still love him and want to have children with him.That is why I transfered because of him hes made me feel more confident in my self and I feel people are trying to take this away from me when I have enough anxiety I deal with.
My job is so boring. I have way too much down time and just sitting still at my job. I can't really get up and move around much because I have to be at my desk to assist customers when they come in.I've tried asking other people I work with if they have anything for me to do/help with. I've asked multiple people multiple times to train me on various things but they always say they don't have...
...R.I.P...your music will forever live on......Thank-you, God...for Aretha Franklin...