So I'm not in a good mood at all today. I woke up from a sort of nightmare and pretty much everything that happened to me at school last year happened again. I know that it most likely won't happen but it felt really real. I'm so scared of always being that person pushed to the side....the 3rd wheel, the black sheep, whatever you want to call it....that's always me. For some reason today i feel pretty anxious i don't know why but my heart keeps racing and i feel that nervous sort of feeling in my stomach. I'm kinda worried. I don't know what's wrong with me I don't think my medicine is even really helping me anymore...I'm still unhappy ....probably cause I realize even if I take medicine the situations I'm in will never really change. I wish I could just stop reacting to things and be a little more apathetic towards things instead of so emotional. My family wonders why I don't like sharing with them how I feel...it's because they don't understand...whatsoever. I just tried telling my sister how I felt and I got the same old "you're fine". No, I'm not fine....and I don't think I ever really will be. :-[
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