Anxiety Support Group

Anxiety is a physical condition marked by intense and persistent feelings of distress, fear, angst or dread. General anxiety caused by routine day-to-day stresses usually passes quickly and is experienced by almost everyone at one time or another. However, such feelings that linger over time and are very difficult to cope with, and which lack a clear cause, may indicate an anxiety disorder.

6 Online
6 Online

fear of your child being sick

i have an overwhelming anxiety when my son is sick...with anything. stomach virus is the worst. it is a fear unlike the normal...i get sweats very anxious. he has an ear infection today and i took him to the doctor they diagnosed him and i was going to be fine, or so i thought. then he started complaining with his tummy hurting and he thought he was going to be sick. i have been a tensed up ball of nerves ever since.

anyone else feel this or have this phobia?

Replies

anxiousone
anxiousone

I feel your pain..my 9 year old has spasmodic croup and over the past 2 years has stopped breathing completly twice and has had to be airlifted to our local trama center...Ever since then it is hard to sleep, I worry about him constantly, almost irrationally and this has also caused him to have emotional problems as well and have to see a therapist.. im always afraid that he is going to die and then because of all the problems that i have, that i will die too and leave my 13 year old daughter to have to fend for herself..maybe we can be friends and help each other through this..good luck...
deleted_user
deleted_user

It is very stressful when children get sick. Nerves do funny things to the body. Try to relax with a glass of milk. put soothing music on. Try telling yourself...until he is actually under more health problems..ie; not getting better, etc..that the doctor has diagnosed him all i can do is be there for him and myself. Mothers tend to not take care of their needs.

Try walking around, moving limbs, and know that you have no control over his stomach. Of course you are concerned..:O)
It's how we handle things when under stress that gets us. Have a pice of dark chocolate 21 LOL it has natural tryptophan which helps with anxiety. Not the wholeeee bar now..

Also remember tylenol is also good for tension.

Tc (((Squishh)))
deleted_user
deleted_user

Let's see, I have children between the ages of 24-28 and that feeling aint going away soon. A few years back, my daughter's friend got spinal meningitis and was very ill for a long time.My daughter and her friend were treated as a precaution. So for years, anytime my kids would get a sore neck, I was already catastrophizing. Even now, if I hear a siren or see a wreck in the distance and even "THINK" my kids could be within that 5 mile radius, I'm callin' their cell! God, I love cells!
deleted_user
deleted_user

I have an overwhelming fear of my kids getting sick also. I thought it was just me. I am so afraid of them getting sick and me having to get up in the middle of the night with them or having them home from school.

I don't know what it is. At least I am not alone. I thought I was. Brenda
deleted_user
deleted_user

Oh yes, my son is 20 and my daughter with special needs is 33 and I have lived in fear of something happening to them since they were born. And I hate sirens, I freak out unless my son is in the house, and yes the cell phone is a God send unless it goes to voice mail. I hate this panic, and anxiety. God Bless
deleted_user
deleted_user

To all, I had to reply to this post. My son was ill from the time he was 18 months to 4 years of age. We spent our days going to Boston and several other hospitals. It was frightening, but I researched and researched as there was nothing I would not do for my kids. I did find the cure. I lost him twice and was revived, I know that intense fear. he is 12 now. This past Feb my children 9 & 11 were at an indoor water park and got severely burned and had severe breathing issues. My son's potassium level went to dangerous levels and almost had a heart attack due to this exposure. It was the most frightening experience ever. They have both had continuous problems since, with asthma, skin rashes, constant joint pain, headaches and so forth. Did this make me anxious, you bet, but I had to put my energy into trying to help them because the drs are uneducated about chlorine exposure.
As mothers, we do worry about our children and we do not want them to be sick, but if the time comes, you will rise to the occasion and help them no matter how you feel inside. the important thing is to not to let them see you sweat. take time in private to be worried.
The stomach bug has been arond since the world began, I work with a mom that has this intense fear as well and it has crippled her life to not be able to work, go out due to fear that she or her children would get the vomit bug. The vomit bug lasts so short and nobody likes to get it, but it is actually part of a child's life, they all seem to get it from time to time, but they get over it. you cannot live your life in worry over the worst case scenario. Going through these things makes us all stronger as parents.
As far as the mom that has the child with croup, I feel your pain, it is frightening. maybe put a baby monitor in child's room so you can hear the breathing, but that could also make you not sleep at all. Is this a chronic condition? Does he take an inhaler? possibly flovent or advair to keep his airways open? moms are the strongest people on earth, if yo ucan all try to keep your composure and reassure the child when they are sick and comfort them and be there for them, yo uwill feel so much better and so will the child. being a mom is hard as we have all the worry, but somethings are out of our hands. My children have developed PTSD from the waterpark as well and this is very difficult so I understand Anxiousone. The most importnat thing you can do for your child is not panic in front of them, you may have to fake it, but it will be well worth it for the child. You are all good moms!
deleted_user
deleted_user

oh, yes. Eversince my children were born, everytime they were sick, it dosen't matter if it was a common cold, ear infection or stomach flue, I would be so worried and kept having the worst scenarios, especially when they had fever along with their sickness.
My kids are now 10 & 12, and I am still like that. Few months ago, my 10 year old had a viral infection with high fever for a whole week, I took him to the doctor 2 times and called his office few times. Although the doc told me, it was just a viral infection, I still couldn't stop thinking it might be something far more serious. During that whole week, I couldn't do anything else,but check his temperature frequently, I didn't sleep much either. I was really anxious and miseralbe.
I totally understand how you feel, I have been there so many times. Just want to let you know you are not alone.
deleted_user
deleted_user

WOW! I am not alone. FINALLY! found a place for support with this. Everyday I check my sons head, when it is cool I can go about my day. when it is warm or hot i break out the thermometer. my heart starts to beat faster as the numbers go higher. sometimes i think it likes to taunt me bc it takes forever for that flashing F to stop. the moment I see he has a fever, the pain comes, the heart drops, it takes over me physically and emotionally. I cant even eat. This happens even if my son is running around laughing w/ no signs of sickness, just knowing he has a fever i know something is going on in his body. Thankfully, the anxiety does stop once I have a diagnosis from the doctor and it is something he/I can treat. but as usual the kid gets sick on sat night when the call to the doctor is 1 day and a half away, then you struggle with the question "is this serious or can it wait till monday?" (and then most of the time monday is a holiay lol)I am happy im not alone. I read your other stories of you strong moms out there with children with more serious illnesses and I feel for you and hope I can be as strong as you one day.

I had a miscarriage a month and half ago. I told my husband i want to try again but when i feel this anxiety, I fear I am not cut out for this thing called "Motherhood" and that I should not have another one.

to know im not alone really helps and to write all of this down really helps. thank you all for sharing your stories
deleted_user
deleted_user

Just wanted to say that I have this problem as well.
deleted_user
deleted_user

I'm glad to see that I am not the only one. I have an overwhelming fear of my kids getting sick. I have an 8 year old and 10 month old and this only started after having my 10 month old. I've always suffered from depression but never have felt like this. Whenever I think that either one of them is getting sick or I hear a cough or they just "look" sick, I comepletely freak out. My body goes numb, I have sever stomach pain and feel like vomiting. My husband is in the navy and is rarely home (to be honest, he isn't much help with this because he doesn't understand it) I have to call my mom to come stay with me because I am physically incapable of handling it by myself. My doctor has given me Adivan and it barely touches the anxiety. The weather is getting cold here and I can feel the nerves acting up already as I am thinking about flu season and what kind of illnesses they will get. I wish there was a way to calm this
deleted_user
deleted_user

I too get anxious when my kids are sick. My oldest (21) had his lung spontaneously collapse and had to go to ER. We've been told that he has a higher percentage of it happening again. I have to catch myself when I start feeling fear or doubt. I choose to do my best to help them feel better, and call a dr. when things get worse (if they get worse). I have found that 99% of what I worry about NEVER comes to pass.
femalebauz
femalebauz

I feel your pain. One of my twins has Sandifer's syndrome. She had it so severe that she went in by ambulance 3 different times. She was 6 weeks old when the first one happened. She was in her bouncer and it looked like she was having a seizure. We called the ambulance and she was transported in. They did numerous tests and discharged her the next day with an apnea monitor. I returned to work about a week later.
The second time was bad. My mom and husband were caring for the girls and my mom was outside on the swing with her. She did it again and when my mom got in the house with her she was blue and not breathing. My husband put the baby he was holding on the floor and took izzy from my mom and she called the ambulance. My husband had to stick his finger into her mouth to start rescue breathing. When I got the call at work I was panicked. I went home and the ambulance was still in my driveway giving her oxygen blow by. But they had the tube and the laryngoscope sitting next to her for the next time she quit breathing. She was grey and I thought she was going to die.
She was admitted and they did the tests on her. On wed she did her spasm in front of the doctor and the nurses. They ordered an upper gi to test for reflux, then her doctor said she would send the surgon in to talk to me. She thought that she would need surgery on her stomach but if I couldn't convince the surgon that she needed it they would have to airlift her to Rodchester Minn for a PH probe. The surgon came in and we talked. She decided to repeat the upper GI and before they even finished the procedure she started to spasm and she quit breathing on the xray table. Thursday I talked to the surgon again and she said she had a severe reflux and would need surgery to correct it. They explained that she would go into a laryngospasm when she would refux and she would quit breathing. She was only 8 weeks old and they didn't know if they could trust her to start breathing on her own again. I agreed and Friday they did surgery on her. She came out with a feeding tube to help weigh the stomach down and then the following monday she came home. The first year after she was unable to burp or throw up. She contracted the stomach flu at about 6 months of age and started throwing up blood. We again called the ambulance and transfered her to the hospital. They thought that she may have tore her stomach. More tests and they figured the blood came from a broken blood vessel in the esophagus from her wretching. Today she is a spunky 8 year old girl.
To this day I can't feed a baby. I endured while they were babies but other kids I can't. I don't babysit or anything in which I may have to feed a baby. I still wake up at night sometimes and have to check on her. I hate it when she gets the stomach flu because she has some problems with throwing up. If she gets the hiccups it sounds like a drum in her stomach.
I am here for you and I hope you take care.
deleted_user
deleted_user

I'm sorry that you ladies went through that. I sometimes feel like its so stupid for me to feel like this when there are mothers out there that actually have had something serious happen. I try to remind myself how blessed I am that they are healthy kids and there will be times when they will get a bug or something. Its just little comfort when I am going through the attack. The thoughts are uncontrollable. You ladies have my worst fear and it's almost as though if I don't worry about it, it will happen. If I'm watching for it, I can catch it before something serious happens. Logically, I know that is rediculous, but like I said, I can't control it. Ugh I just wish it would go away. I wish there was a pill that I can just take and poof, I am carefree and anxiety free. I am trying to decide whether or not to give my baby the flu shot. If I don't give it to her, she may get real sick from the flu, if I do, I worry about the side effects that come with it.
deleted_user
deleted_user

I actually work in paediatric oncology (so kids with cancer) and EVERYTIME my kids have anything....even a mosquito bite I panic....because I feel like I know too much and it MUST be something serious.

I realised the other day that I work with one of the EXTREME examples of what can go wrong with children. Very unwell children are the rare exception - not the rule. I need to stop the catastrophic thinking and focus on being thankful that they are well!
deleted_user
deleted_user

Amen taranicole! You hit the nail on the head. Catastrophic thinking is what gets our nerves on edge and brings the horrible uncomfortable sensations of anxiety. Stopping the thought process will stop the brain reacting to the big "oh-oh! Something must be terribly wrong" signals.

We are quick to go to the negative side of things or "what if" thinking. Being mindfully thankful (takes practice) helps break the bad habit which is what catastrophic thinking is.