So here's some more thoughts. I still have a lot of thoughts of going crazy or losing it somehow. But it doesn't seem like it makes me as anxious. But sometimes when I realize I'm not that anxious it scares me. Like maybe if I let go of the fear it will happen. Or maybe I just don't care if it does anymore. It's really hard for me to accept that some people do go 'crazy', because it makes it seem like a possibility for myself. So anyway, sometimes I'll smell something or maybe a certain lighting will put me in a weird mood. Sometimes it feels like it reminds me of something that happened a long time ago. Sometimes I can remember it. Others not. When I do remember, they're not usually traumatic experiences, but it still makes me feel...weird. I guess kind of like deja vu with some sadness. Like I'm in a dream. Also, fears that if I think about going crazy enough it might happen. Or that I'm half way there. Or that it's a choice and I'm pushing myself into it. Anyone relate? I know I've posted about going crazy before, but it sure helps to hear other's experiences. Thanks.
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