When I was in my 20s I went to job service to see what I qualified for. I had graduated from art school and had worked in an orchard as a seasonal worker. Volunteered alot and was outgoing and not afraid of much, I thought.
The man I talked to said I was not qualified to work anywhere. I had no skills. Might as well go home and forget about it. I wanted him to as least tell me how to go about a process to gain skills. He didn't. I knew high school kids got jobs with no experiences. So why couldn't I? Never did find out.
I took every odd job, seasonal, temp that I could to get experience. Went to jr college to get computer education. Finally found a job as a hospital cook. No experience there needed. I got demoted after a year and only lost pay but still had the same work. (long story)
Another time Mom went to the bank to have me put on her checking account when Dad was sick and in military hospital a hundred miles away. So I could pay the household bills and not have to send them in the mail for her to do and send back. Waste of time. The banker told her not to do that because I would just run off with all her assets. To this day I have a problem using any of her money. I had to borrow last week just to get groceries but I paid her back yesterday.
Hurtful statements stay with me. More than the love I feel from Mom and my one good friend. Guess that is why I put up a wall, so the hurt isn't as much. So chose your words carefully because you don't always see the other person's heart.
I've been working on mindfulness and positive attitude for several months now.I feel better. But somewhat tence each day. Especially when I know somethingIs coming up. But the things coming up are minor. I have to drive to psychiatristoffice in Wednesday. Only mild anxiety about that. Saturday, we have picnicat husband friends house. And it's a hell of a lot better than I expected it...