Anxiety Support Group
Anxiety is a physical condition marked by intense and persistent feelings of distress, fear, angst or dread. General anxiety caused by routine day-to-day stresses usually passes quickly and is experienced by almost everyone at one time or another. However, such feelings that linger over time and are very difficult to cope with, and which lack a clear cause, may indicate...
I always have, irrational, racing thoughts of my boyfriend cheating on me because I am over-weight and am scared he is going to leave me for someone who is just better looking than myself. I catch him looking at other girls but that's all he does. He is very honest (sometimes a little too much) I always tell him and everyone else, if anyone was going to cheat it would probably be me because he is just not like that. It has gotten to the point where if he is more than 10 minutes late from getting home from work or where ever he has went I start thinking that he is with someone else, and I do not want him here by himself in fear that he might be having someone over. I need to do something about these thoughts. Deep down I know that he would not do anything like that. We have two kids together and a beautiful home and I know he wouldn't just dispose of those for a "good time". It is to the point where it is ruining ourrelationship. I just don't know how to kick these thoughts and make them stay gone.
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I have been here before, a long long time ago and now I am back.Forgive me for not just saying what I want to say,even under a triple dose of antidepressants it is still raw and seeping and I am hesitant at revealing it as at least under the bandages around my heart I don,t have to look at how raw and wounded.My child was cleaved from my heart by his own actions. my child of ten,turning eleven...
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theatre and I are there already. I'm having a very berry tea with crackers, cheese and cherry tomatoes and she's having a joint with some beer and we're both on really comfy recliners on thick pile carpet. we need some help with the decor if anyone is around??
You sound like me three years ago. I was anxious all the time, primarily because he was away at college downstate with all the pretty coeds, and I was stuck up at a private university in the city. I would call him obsessively to ask where he was; I cried all the time to him, accused him of cheating, etc. It was TERRIBLE! I hated myself for being like that, but I couldn't help it.
When we spent time together, my anxieties got in the way of our relationship. He tried to be helpful and tell me that he would never cheat, but I still thought he would anyway. I pulled away physically and emotionally, which just made things worse.
Eventually, I got so obsessive that he told me if I didn't do something about it, he would leave me. He could take the panic attacks, but the constant accusations, etc were too much. It got to the point where he would lie about going out with his friends because he knew I would freak out and accuse him of cheating.
Wow, was I in a bad place. I felt so helpless, like you probably feel now. The best, BEST thing you can do for yourself is talk to a professional. I started seeing a therapist by my dorm, and talking to him about my insecurities. We got to the root of my problems, and I was able to better communicate them to my then-boyfriend.
I will say this; the only way I was able to fully escape my fears about infidelity was to lose Jeff. We finally grew too far apart , and he broke up with me about a year ago. It was the hardest thing I've ever been through, but it forced me to take a good look at my life and myself. I learned to care about myself, and that I am worth loving, and anyone that would cheat on me is just stupid, and it's their loss.
It also forced me to re-examine our relationship, and when I looked back, I saw that I had no reason to believe that he ever cheated on me. A year ago, I would have said there was a good chance he was going behind my back; my anxieties and fears had a complete hold over me. Now, after everything I've been through and all the growing I've done, I am the one in control, and I've told my fears to hit the road.
I guess all I can say is that I understand what you're going through, and it sucks. It takes a lot of strength to "kick" those fears and thoughts, and that strength only comes through personal growth, not pills. When you start getting those racing thoughts, take some deep breaths and get your mind off of it. Do something good for YOURSELF; take a bubble bath, take a long walk, or my favorite, go out with the girls! Those are temporary fixes, but to really get better you should talk to someone regularly about these feelings, because they are likely an indication of something deeper going on.
In the end, this is about YOU, not your boyfriend. Take time to concentrate on yourself; if your boyfriend loves you, he will understand. Feel better, and feel free to message me!