how weak must i be? to have no control over my body. to have this unwelcomed guest hide itself in the dark corners of my mind. to have no leash on this beast. it can appear at any moment and paint the sky black. it can bring me to my knees, send me to the hospital, or leave me shaking and wondering if the lines in the ceiling are moving ever so slightly. it is not kind and does not care whether i am driving on the highway doing 70 mph. anxiety can be cruel. for weeks i will be episode free and enjoying freedom and out of nowhere i am getting chest pains and feeling dizzy. panic comes along and its a full on attack. does anyone else have such strong anxiety attacks? or understand what i mean?
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