
Anxiety Support Group
Anxiety is a physical condition marked by intense and persistent feelings of distress, fear, angst or dread. General anxiety caused by routine day-to-day stresses usually passes quickly and is experienced by almost everyone at one time or another. However, such feelings that linger over time and are very difficult to cope with, and which lack a clear cause, may indicate...

AnneL
Hello,
I feel so guilty as my husband feels so neglected. Having anxiety has really impacted my sex drive and he feels helpless and not loved. He tells me that he needs to be touched and physically loved and the last thing I want is anyone touching me in moments/days of high anxiety. I don't know how to deal with this as he's even asked me what our relationship is, exactly. I tell him that I am his wife but he tells me that I don't give enough to alleviate his insecurity. I am really trying but I end up feeling guilty and inadequate. Can anyone tell me what has worked for them?
Thank you. (Mind you that my husband is 15 years older than me, if that even makes a difference, I don't have children but I have a stepson who is 15)
I feel so guilty as my husband feels so neglected. Having anxiety has really impacted my sex drive and he feels helpless and not loved. He tells me that he needs to be touched and physically loved and the last thing I want is anyone touching me in moments/days of high anxiety. I don't know how to deal with this as he's even asked me what our relationship is, exactly. I tell him that I am his wife but he tells me that I don't give enough to alleviate his insecurity. I am really trying but I end up feeling guilty and inadequate. Can anyone tell me what has worked for them?
Thank you. (Mind you that my husband is 15 years older than me, if that even makes a difference, I don't have children but I have a stepson who is 15)
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If NOT on medication again I would talk wiht your doctor about something that may help. Sometimes when I have too much anxiety to be in the mood I take Xanax to help me relax.
My wife is very understanding and has gained better insight from going together to my therapist. She was able to talk to someone about her needs and concerns.
If you can get him to therapy with you, that neutral pro in the room can do wonders for you.
Most people do not and can not understand what we go through. My wife could be laying next to me in bed and I could feel so lonely you would of thought I was on a deserted island. As a man I craved cuddling more than I ever did before. It felt secure to have that touch and reassurance.
Sex is something that has continued for us. There are times when I am hurting physically from my spinal injuries and times that the anxiety just is to much.
I would recommend showing him in small ways. Special meals more attention, compliments. You know how you girls can schmooze the guys. Make up for the sex with other special attention.
Good Luck
I agree with 'twood'...talk to your doctor it might be medication.
Your husband needs to be more understanding. If you are not in couples therapy, I think you should try it. my husband and I are going to start soon....I feel like someone has opened a door into a new beginning for us. It does and can help.
Communication really is the key!
Best of luck.....and I am here for you!
Like twood said, it's probably your meds. I am on Paxil and it absolutely slaughtered my sex drive. I know other meds do that, too. But sometimes, the longer your on it, the more that side effect can lessen. For me though, to be on Paxil and feel normal and not like I'm going to spiral out of control, kind of trumps the sex thing. I know that sounds selfish. I will, however, give in, but I just end up not getting much out of it. It might be something we go to my counselor about, but not right now. Although I'm sure it would help, we're getting at deeper things with me, so I need to focus on that.
Anyway, sorry for rambling. You're not alone in this one :) Hugs to you!
I found sex can actually help me when I'm anxious because it forces me to shift my focus.
I'm sorry you are going through this hard time.
I can't offer much advice since I'm not married and I have no idea what it's like, but as far as the anxiety goes, I'd recommend practicing on shifting your focus from the anxious feelings to other aspects of your life. Are you on meds?
If so I agree with everyone else, that could be it, but if not try to breathe deeply and focus on NOW, this moment to alleviate some of that anxiety. Remember, it doesn't last forever you will get through this.
Ask ur husband to read some info on anxiety... that might broaden his mind about how ur feeling.
I havent had sex with my partner for about a month now and the thought of it makes me feel quite ill.
I love him to bits but i just done like myself at all and i keep thinking he can do better than me because im damaged!
I hope you find your way through this, please tell me if you find a solution because im no nearer to one. Hugs xx