Well I am pretty much Bipolar, it runs in my family and ive had severe mood swings for yrs. I have taken myself off of meds then went back for help, which has pretty much severed the ties with my doc. I was very stressed lately and felt like I was gonna have a nervous breakdown so I found a new doc. He put me on Celexa and within 2 weeks I had a bad reaction, had bad suicidal thoughts, dreams of suicide. So he took me off and im on zoloft. He also put me on Lorazepam 2 times a day. It has helped but im still getting bad panic attacks, I dont wanna be around people....last night I took some Lorazepam, advil and drank half bottle of Vodka and cut my wrists. I had been a cutter before but stopped for 2 yrs. And last week I cut myself but told everyone I wouldnt do it again, but the thing is its addictive to a point. Anyways I begged not to be taken to the hospital cause I didnt want to be commited to the mental unit....and my doc is gonna flip when he heres this cause hes away. I just wish I could think normal and not have such fear inside or all these thoughts.
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