I have been suffering from severe anxiety for a few years now. I don't know what the discomfort I was feeling was, until it got out of control. I finally started going to therapy, and I've recently been diagnosed with depersonalization disorder. I've been dating the same man for three years, and it's really taking a toll on our relationship because on and off I feel disconnected from him, but when the "fog" is lifted, I know I love him and that I want to be with him. Lately though, I've been having a lot of anxiety regarding an ex boyfriend that I dated for four years. I broke up with him to date my current boyfriend. My ex and I didn't have a healthy relationship, I wasn't faithful to him and I lied to him, and I'm not sure we really had "closure" where I told him the truth about the things I had done. It seems like I can't get him out of my head, and when I'm with my boyfriend, all I can do is hear my ex saying the things he's say I for think about how I did the same things with my ex. Even the memories are getting mixed up. Something that I did with my boyfriend I can picture doing with my ex instead. He's invading my life. It's like I'm meshing the two together. But I'm not sure why. Is it because I never came clean to him? Because I have feelings for him? I don't want to be with him though, I love my relationship. Or is this related somehow to my depersonalization disorder? I'm freaking out.
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