I just recently joined Daily Strength for the Stillbirth support group, and I came across this group and wanted to share my story. In November 2007 my best friend was murdered in her own home, and when I say murdered, she was shot in the head and was put on life support for about a week and then her parents pulled the plug. I just recently lost my baby girl on January 5, 2009 at 36 weeks gestation. She was stillborn. I feel like my life revolves around death. I think about dieing day in/day out. I can't even walk down the stairs without thinking "what if I fall and break my neck and die?" even when I'm driving I think about the worst case scenario that could happen and I replay it over & over in my head. I also have a 1 year old son whom I constantly check on while he's sleeping to make sure he's still breathing and I watch every move he makes bc I'm scared he's going to choke on something or eat something that could kill him. I have panic attacks every now & then but they don't last long. Just long enough to make me nauseous and I get really hot and starting freaking out even more bc then I get scared that I'm going to die. I haven't been diagnosed with anxiety disorder, so medically I'm not sure if I even fit into this category but I wanted to share my story and see if any of you can give me some support or suggestions. Thank you.
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