hey. today i felt a little scared and had the wind taken out of my sails. i have been feeling really good lately, but today when i was meditating (i may have been on the brink of falling alseep), i heard a beep or something like a horn and i am almost positive it was in my head. it scared the hell out of me b/c i know hearing things that aren't real is not normal. or maybe it is. i told my boyfriend and he assured me that i am not going crazy or anything like that. he says sometimes when he is about to fall asleep he will be jolted awake by a sound or word in his head. and he has been with me for five years and thinks he would have noticed if i was nuts. i still felt scared about it.
i don't hallucinate (i have NEVER seen or heard anything that wasn't there while i was awake). i am not delusional (i know who and what i am and what i am capable of) i can describe my symptoms of anxiety with clarity and i feel pleasantly detached from them at times.(this is a checklist dr deepak chopra cited in his book"unconditional life; mastering the forces that shape personal reality" to assure a woman who didn't feel real that she wasn't crazy)even though i have done anything crazy or seen or heard anything crazy, i still have this fear. and hearing that sound made me so scared. i am even a little reluctant to write this for fear that one of you may suggest i see a doctor or think I'm nuts. i think this fear that i might go crazy or do something out of control is the worst part of my anxiety.
please don't tell me anything negative about my experience while i was mediating. i have become reassured that i am not nuts and i don't need anyone scaring me.
do you guys look for symptoms of insanity in yourselves and scare yourself?